Team fortress 2: world of magic and random crossovers XD

Red, blu and Grey

3Rd person

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

The trio looked at each other, a heavy silence hanging in the room. Pyro slowly set the polar bear steaks down on the counter.

Thump.

Thumpthumpthump.

"Coming!" yelled Pyro, flinging herself towards the door and opening it. To nobody's surprise, Saxton Hale marched in. The Spy cleared his throat.

"Have you made a dec-"

"I'LL JOIN YE!" he roared, beating his chest in an apelike manner.

"What? WHY?" Pyro said with a gasp. "I mean, uh, what led you to that conclusion so quickly?"

"FORGET ABOUT REDMOND. FORGET ABOUT BLUTARCH. WE DON'T STAND A CHANCE!" The formidable man violently plopped down on the couch, his head in his hands. Spy and Pyro exchanged alarmed glances.

"What do you mean forget about them? They're the root of the problem," Pyro said.

"THEY CAN'T BE WHEN THEY'RE DEAD!" he bellowed.

"Dead?" asked the Spy in surprise. This was the worst possible outcome. If the two old crooks who owned the world were possibly killed, then that meant that they had a far bigger fish to fry.

"DEAD, THAT'S RIGHT. AND EVEN WORSE: MANN CO. IS NO LONGER MINE!" he cried in anguish. He banged his fist on the coffee table, smashing it to smithereens.

"What happened?" Pyro asked. Saxton Hale turned to look at her, his beady eyes meeting hers.

"I'LL TELL YE WHAT BLOODY HAPPENED! THEM MANN BROS HAVE A THIRD ONE-GRAY MANN, HE CALLS HIMSELF. HE-HE UNPLUGGED BOTH OF THEIR LIFE EXTENDERS AND KILLED 'EM BOTH DEAD. HE'S GOT ONE HIMSELF, TOO. HE'S WORSE THAN BOTH OF 'EM COMBINED. THE SMARTEST BY FAR, EVEN STARTED TALKIN' WHEN HE WAS BORN."

"Seriously? Is that even possible?"

"IT IS WHEN YOU'RE BLOODY GRAY MANN. HE'S A GENIUS. AND HE'S GOT A LITTLE DAUGHTER TO BOOT. SHE'S THE ONE WHO USURPED THE THRONE FROM YOURS TRULY!"

"How did that happen?" Spy inquired dryly.

"I HAVE A POLICY THAT BACKFIRED ON ME. IT WAS SO THAT ANYONE WHO BESTED ME IN PHYSICAL COMBAT COULD TAKE ON MANN CO. OF COURSE, THERE'S NOBODY STRONGER THAN I. BUT THIS LITTLE GIRL COMES ALONG, CHALLENGES ME TO A FISTFIGHT. I CAN'T PUNCH A LITTLE GIRL, WHAT KIND OF MONSTER DO YA THINK I AM? SO OF COURSE I DECLINE. AND BY THAT LOGIC, SHE SWIPED MY COMPANY FROM RIGHT UNDER MY OWN TWO FEET!"

Pyro and Spy stared at Saxton Hale slack-jawed. Regardless of the idiocy of his policy, it was no wonder he came crawling back to them to join their ragtag world-saving team.

"Okay, let's calm down," Pyro began carefully. "Does the press know?"

"NO, HAVEN'T A CLUE."

"That's a start, there's something. Are you still hosting the Saxxies?"

"HE'S MAKIN' ME. HE WANTS EVERYTHING TO SEEM LIKE IT'S BUSINESS AS USUAL. EVEN HELEN'S GONE, NOBODY KNOWS WHERE. TOOK ALL THE AUSTRALIUM WITH HER, THAT SHE-DEVIL."

"I've seen the blueprints for the life extender machines," Spy said. "Do they not run on Australium power?"

"THEY DO. WITHOUT AUSTRALIUM, HE'LL RUN OUT 'N' DIE, EVENTUALLY. I'D SAY HE'S GOOD FOR AT LEAST SIX MONTHS. BUT HE'S LOOKIN', HE'S LOOKIN' HARD. LAST I HEARD HE HIRED A BUNCH OF HIS OWN MERCENARIES TO FIND SOME."

"That's...not good," sighed Pyro as she started towards the kitchen area.

"WELL, YOU'D BETTER HAVE SOMETHIN' IN MIND!" he called after her.

"We'll do it," said the Spy without hesitation, drawing everyone's attention to him. "...on one condition. You help us brainstorm and execute this plan in any way we ask you to."

"ME?"

"Oui."

"HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO-OHHH, ARE MY EYES DECEIVIN' ME?"

Pyro came out of the kitchen wielding an open box of aged polar bear steaks. She set the box down in front of him.

"AGED POLAR BEAR STEAKS? STRAIGHT FROM THE ARCTIC?"

"You betcha. Shipped this morning."

"AHH, YOU'RE A GOOD SHEILA, YOU KNOW THAT. KNOW YER WAY INTO A MAN'S HEART!" he cried, yanking three steaks out of the box and devouring them raw.

"Thanks," she said with a laugh. "So...will you be joining us?"

"WITHOUT A DOUBT!" he roared, bits of raw polar bear flying out of his mouth. He leapt up and violently beat his chest. "LET'S DO THIS."

"All RIGHT!" Pyro shouted, clapping her hands together. "Let's get this party started!"

"Hmph helen?" Crystal asked. Spy uncloaked behind her...