cut yourself in conversation | gerbert

chapter twenty seven

bert lays in bed while he listens to the soft angelic voice singing piano man from the shower. he could just lay here and listen to gerard sing all day, his voice is so soothing. bert hears the water turned off and shower curtain opened. bert glances over to the door that opens to reveal gerard in a towel. wrapped up to his chest, revealing his cute chubby thighs. gerard blushes slightly when he sees bert still laid in bed, having no clue he was still home and heard him sing. not to mention standing in-front of him in only a towel. "i thought you left to go pick up dinner?"

"i already did, i think you lost track of time pretty boy." bert chuckled sitting up. frowning when he notices some scattered hickeys and bruises on his shoulder and collar bones. bert gets out of bed and approaches, brushing his thumb over one of the bruises making gerard wince. "you have to be in a lot of pain, they obviously hit you. i have some pain killers that can help with the ache."

"no, really i'm okay. thank you though." gerard closes off, offering a soft smile before grabbing his clothes and retreating back into the bathroom. he's really nervous about bringing up the topic of his lifestyle ever since bert called him disgusting for it. gerard knows bert was just upset and didn't mean it, he knows beet doesn't veiw him like that. but it doesn't change the hurt of hearing it, those words still lingering in his mind. he's already insecure enough of it, of himself, of what he does. especially with how close him and bert are. though they don't really know what they are exactly. gerard finishes drying off and dressing before exiting the bathroom into the bedroom.

"come on, the food's getting cold." bert says from in bed, the movie already set up and food pulled out. gerard laughs and crawls into bed beside bert and turns out the lamp. the two enjoy their dinner while watching the movie. after getting full, gerard tiredly leans into bert's side. bert smiles and wraps an arm around him as they continue the movie. bert glaces down at the marks poking out from his shirt at this angle, sighing sadly. he feels so badly for gerard, for what he has to do. especially since gerard's been really insecure around him because of the things he said a few months ago.

"come with me this weekend. me and the guys are going to a party uptown, i want you to come. it'll be fun, everyone will be there. i know the guys have really missed you, jeph especially. i know he's got a little schoolgirl crush on you though." bert says, earning a laugh from gerard in response to the schoolgirl joke. "but please? if you don't like it when we get there or you're uncomfortable then we can leave and go get coffee."

"everyone's going to be there? i'm sorry baby i don't want to go. enjoy a night with your friends, alright? get wasted, do something stupid. just be careful." gerard says shaking his head. he's nervous and embarrassed to see quinn after what happened a few weeks ago. quinn was so mad at him, and for a good reason. gerard still feels very much responsible for what happened at the theater, and quinn knows it too. he shoved gerard, yelled at him to leave because he didn't want him around bert after what he did to bert. that will forever haunt him.

"it's because of quinn, right? gerard don't worry about him. he won't say anything, not with me there. he was just being overprotective, he didn't mean it. not that it's an excuse to push you because i'm still really pissed about that, but don't let him hold you back. please come with me, you'll have a lot of fun." bert replies while playing with gerard's red hair, watching him as he sighs. bert hates that quinn was so rough with gerard, but at the time he was so afraid and upset to say something. bert doesn't want his best friend and the man he loves to fight and not get along. they both mean so much to him. he knows that quinn is just protective over him and gerard's feelings were just hurt.

"look i'm just gonna go to the library, okay? i need to catch up on some reading. please just enjoy yourself." gerard says, not budging. bert sighs sadly but nods. he really wanted gerard to come but he seems to really not want to.

• • •

bert smiles petting murry as he stands with annie beside him. he's getting ready to leave for the party and knows he's probably not going to make it back home until morning. he doesn't really want to go since gerard won't be there but he's going to go anyway, for the guys. "thank you so much annie for staying with him tonight, i just feel really bad leaving him here alone. call me if you guys need anything. help yourself to anything in the fridge or pantry. see you in the morning!"

bert leaves the apartment and gets in his car where jeph's in the passenger seat. jeph really doesn't want to go either, but they want to make quinn and dan happy by going. plus they need someone to drive them home since they'll drink till they're sick.

bert: hey how's the library? empty on a friday night?

gerard: sadly not, there's some creep sitting across from me and a crackhead at the counter. wish me luck 😒🤚

bert: please be careful, call me if there a problem or you need to be picked up. imma call you every hour or so, if you don't answer i'll send the swat team. got it?

gerard: sir yes sir 🤪🤞

bert: you're an idiot

[ i hate this one, but the upcoming chapters will,,,, be spicy,, i hope ]