Don't Judge a Book

exodus

Shouto swerved into a motel parking lot. He parked the car and rested his head against the wheel. Truly living the best life now. He sighed. "This is all my fault." He should've been a better brother, a better friend, better anything but this. This was miserable. 

"Hey, it's okay," Izuku placed his hand over Shouto's. "I'm the one without my powers anymore and I'm doing just fine. None of this is your fault. I'm sure your brother has woken up by now and is perfectly okay. You don't need to feel so guilty about this." 

"If my brother is awake, he is pushing aside his thoughts of you, blaming himself for your current situation. If he ever sees you again he is going to break. Not only because things never worked for you guys but also because he will feel responsible for your lack of wings. He couldn't convince God to spare you. And to top it all off you're traveling around with me, on the run, instead of relying on him." 

"Shouto..." 

"No, just, no," Shouto withdrew further into himself. He exited the vehicle and went to go get a room key. Once he'd successfully gotten one, he gestured for Izuku to follow. The room smelled of smoke, which reminded the two of Dabi. Shouto curled up into a ball on the bed and ignored everything he possibly could. 

"Shouto," Izuku couldn't stop himself from crying. His tears were just as pure as they always were. He had all the qualities of an angel without the wings or the powers. He would still live forever just the same. "Does this mean you don't like me anymore? Have I messed up that badly?" he asked, wiping away his tears but more kept coming. 

"No, that's not..." Shouto sat up and ran his hand through his hair. "How do I explain this? Being with you like this is wonderful as much as it is bittersweet. Every time I feel some sort of pleasant emotion I remember how much my brother spent pining after you. I feel like I've betrayed him somehow and... I just... I don't know what to do..." 

Shouto's phone vibrated on the nightstand. He saw the caller id and his heart dropped. "Hello?" he answered, his voice tense. He should've just let it go to voicemail. Why did he pick up? Such a stupid move. 

"Hey, lil' bro," Dabi's voice spoke through the mechanism. "Chapstick gave me the gist of what happened. I figured you might be needing some cheering up. You're worried you betrayed me or some shit like that, right?" Shouto flinched. His brother knew him well. "Fuck that, Shouto, you do what makes you happy, okay? I'll get off my high horse eventually. Don't worry about me. Worry about yourself and how you're going to hide from Heaven. You got that?" 

"Yeah..." Shouto reluctantly admitted.

"Good. Tell ang-" Dabi cut himself off, realizing he couldn't call him that anymore. "Tell Izuku I said hi. Don't be a stranger, okay? I'm still your brother." And, with that, he hung up. Shouto's phone buzzed again after the call ended. Dabi sent him a selfie of him standing in the middle of Tomura and another guy making the peace sign. Don't worry about me. The message read. Like you, I've got a thing about symmetry. I need a man hanging on both of my arms. c; 

"Looks like Tomura finally got what he wanted," Shouto showed the picture to Izuku. "I hope he is okay with this arrangement. He never liked sharing anything, least of all Dabi." 

"I know him," Izuku pointed to the phone. "That's the guy we thought adopted the antichrist. I hope those three are happy," he smiled, trying to force back some more ugly sobs from escaping. He wasn't completely over Dabi and a lot of stuff happened to him recently. He had the right to cry but didn't feel as if he was allowed to at the same time. 

"Izuku," Shouto reached out his hand to pull Izuku close to him but never actually touched him. He placed his hand back on his lap and sighed. "Do you want to be in a relationship with me?" 

"Huh?" the former angel blinked, wiping away his tears. 

"Sorry, forget I said anything," he muttered, lying back down on the bed.

"Shouto," he crawled down behind him and hugged the half-and-half male. "We have plenty of time to figure out our relationship. There is no reason for us to rush anything, okay?" 

"You're right," Shouto closed his eyes. Izuku placed his face in the nape of Shouto's neck. He wanted to be in a relationship with the half-angel-half-demon but he knew the male himself wasn't ready for it. They both had some recovering to do. He knew this in his mind, yes, but his fantasy world still continued to turn. Being this close to Shouto was making him think of all those scenarios he thought about Dabi. He felt...unclean or impure. How could he switch loves so easily? What if he didn't really like Shouto as he thought? The more Izuku pondered the more confused he became. The gentle heartbeat of Shouto kept him centered in the world. He focused on that instead of his own racing heart. Shouto was fast asleep. He should sleep too. 

"It's okay," Shouto placed his hand over Izuku's. He wasn't sleeping? Or he was talking in his sleep? Izuku didn't know. "I'm here," he repeated.