renaissance [DISCONTINUED]

What we behold is censured by our eyes.

When Gilbert came back he had their takeout in hands and an awkward smile in his face. Anne was sleeping, her head rested on the window, looking as peaceful as ever. He sat down on the drivers seat and shook her shoulder.

"Anne... Anne, wake up, got your food."

Anne moved and looked at him, her eyes still squinted "Hi... have my pad thai?"

He chuckled and handed it over to her. She sat up straight and they ate quietly, you could only hear the plastic cutlery, their chewing and the easing rock song that echoed softly from Gilbert's phone. They didn't talk, they didn't look at each other, they just sat there, each one in their own world, but still enjoying the company.

"Gil... I'm so weirded out by all of this."

"I..." He tried to think of something to comfort her, but he didn't come up with anything "Me too. I really like Winnie but..."

"But 'really liking' isn't enough, is it?"

"Not really. Well, you and Charlie are great together, I'm sure you'll figure something out. If anything—"

"I don't think I can keep dating Charlie."

"Beg your pardon?"

"I don't think I can be with him, not knowing that I don't love him."

"Anne, love takes time. You might not love him now, but you might in the near future, you know."

"That's the problem, Blythe." She turned to him, putting her food away "I don't think I can love Charlie. I don't think I'll ever be able to."

"Why'd you say that?"

"I..." 'Because I think I might be in love with you still', Anne guiltily thought about saying "I just know." But she settled for that instead.

"Well, if you're sure about that, I think you know what you have to do."

"Yeah... yeah I do. What about you and Winnie?"

"I don't know yet. I have to put so much thought into it, I'm not really sure of anything at the moment, you know." Anne nodded "Okay, that's a lie, I'm sure of one thing."

They looked at each other and smiled "Ice cream!" They shouted at the same time. Gilbert started the car and Valerie by Amy Winehouse was playing. They sang the lyrics loudly, the neon haze started looking like multi colored fireflies dancing, Gilbert was being struck by red light and he looked magical. Anne's sudden realization for her longing love for him stirred boiled feelings inside of her, ones that she knew only him would be able to cool down. Gilbert was a good singer, he had a sweet voice, it was not one of those distinguishable ones made for professional singers or musicians, but it was mellow enough so Anne could never get sick of it.

When they arrived at the ice cream place they got out of the car, and stared at the pastel world of sweet innocence that the shop held. Every table and chair was colored pastel and the floor was checkered like a vintage diner. There was a functioning jukebox in one corner and so many ice cream flavors it'd be torturous to choose. Best of all, it was empty.

"Hi, can I get a vanilla cone please?" Gilbert asked the clerk kindly, which she did not respond with the same tone.

"Sure. And for you, miss?"

"Uh, pistachio please."

"Really, Anne? Pistachio?"

"It's the most exquisite! So different and unique, I love it."

"Of course you do."

They smiled, and the mean lady gave them their cones. "Here you go lovebirds, enjoy."

"Oh, no we're not..." Anne started.

"Thank you." Gilbert stopped Anne before she could finish and whispered "Don't bother explaining, she doesn't know us anyway."

"What are you waiting for? Take your ice cream and go." The lady impatiently shouted.

They went to a table and sat down, Anne savored the pistachio ice cream and Gilbert gladly ate his vanilla treat.

"So Anne, when did you and Charlie started dating?"

"Do you really want to talk about this right now?"

"It might help you think whatever you need to think through."

Anne would say something if she didn't know he was right, so she just answered him. "A month after we started school. He asked me to be his girlfriend on campus, kneeled on a field during the last moments of summer. We're a nice couple, you know. Always the right things to say, right places to go, right friends to have and right plans to make."

"Why end all that? Seems good to me."

"Ruby... Ruby told me something that I couldn't shake off: I was never one known for niceness, I have a fondness for a certain flair in things that Charlie can't give me. It's not like he's a bad guy, he's just not the right guy for me."

"I think I can understand that..."

"And why do you have to think about Winnie?"

"Told you, I'm not sure."

"But what aren't you sure about?"

"I don't know, I can't think of much right now. I guess... I'm not sure if I want to spend my life with her. I'm not even sure if I want her to move in. I'm not sure if I should feel guilty for enjoying this much time away from her or for not having this much fun when she's away."

"And what are the things that make you want to stay?"

"Well, she's funny. I think it's cool we have our differences but also good that we like the same stuff. I think she's really pretty and smart, she constantly amazes me on that last part."

Anne scoffed, mouthing a 'wow'. She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Sorry, did I say something wrong?"

"Not quite wrong, you just didn't say anything right, Gilbert." He looked like a confused puppy "You were supposed to tell me things that make Winnie the least mundane of people's, the things that make you have feelings for her! Plenty people will be funny, pretty or smart and lots of girls definitely have differences that would amaze you, and some of them might have and be it all! Those things are not things that make Winnie your Winnie, those are only things that make her a great person."

"I'm sorry, I don't understand..."

"Let me help you understand. Have you ever been so in love with someone that it hurt?"

"Yeah."

"Tell me the words you'd use to describe that person when you were in love with them."

"Okay."