Faking It (KamiDeku)

Chapter 13

"What's going to happen now? The whole class knows. Are-are you going to get kicked out?" Izuku asked Kaminari nervously. He'd be lying if he said the thought didn't scare him. The last thing he wanted was for the up beat boy to get thrown out.

"I'm not sure. I doubt they'd kick me now, seeing as Todoroki was the main reason I had to tell everyone. At least that's how I hope Nezu sees it." He said, scratching the back of his neck. He obviously didn't want to leave, but it was a real possibility he had to come to terms with.

"What would happen if you did get expelled?" Izuku asked. He wanted to brace himself for the worst case scenario.

"I wouldn't be much help to you then, huh? We could... keep this up, if you wanted. I wouldn't be here all the time, but I'd still visit and stuff. I get it if you'd want to just ask someone else to do it though, they'd probably be more affective then." He said, not sure how the other boy felt about their 'deal'. He didn't know if he'd want to abandon it if Kaminari wasn't physically there all the time. What's the point of having a fake boyfriend to ward off 'suitors', if he wasn't actually there to do it?

Kaminari's words hit Izuku like a ton of bricks. It seemed to confirm what he was afraid of. He had started to fall for the other, and apparently it was one sided. He was willing to just give him up to someone else, 'more affective'. He really did just see it as helping out a friend.

How could he have been so stupid?! He knew he shouldn't have caught feelings. He knew, he told himself that it would only get him hurt in the end.

He wasn't sure how much more of it he could take.

He knew he had to either stop it now, or tell Kaminari the truth. Neither option sounded very appealing to him. Stop it, well that would just be painful. Telling him that he may or may not have fallen in love with him, that would just end in disaster.

Nevertheless, he knew what he had to do. He took a deep breath, trying to prepare himself for how terrible this could go.

"Denki, I-" His voice caught in his throat. The words were harder to get out then he first thought.

"Yeah?" Kaminari asked, pressing him to continue. He didn't know what Izuku wanted to say, but he knew it sounded serious.

Izuku knew that if he hesitated anymore, he'd back out and wouldn't be able to go through with it. "I-I think I'm falling for you." He said, cringing back and looking down, unable to maintain eye contact.

"What?" Kaminari asked, his eyes widening at the confession. Never in a million years did he think Izuku Midoriya would even like him, let alone fall in love with him. He was in shock.

"I-I-I- I'm sorry- I shouldn't have- I-" Panic had set in, shaking Izuku up to his core. He was mentally berating himself for saying something so stupid.

"You're falling for me?" Kaminari switched his question, knowing that he wouldn't be able to get Izuku to admit it again without a push.

He suddenly looked up, right into Kaminari's eyes. "Y-yeah."

Reality started to set in for Kaminari. His reality set in. The danger he was in every second he was at the school. The danger he put Izuku in every time they even talked. It wasn't that he didn't care at the beginning, he just hadn't thought about things like this before. He hadn't thought about how bad this could end up for the green haired boy. He already had a target on his back, to add to it was suicide for him. It was a risk Kaminari wasn't sure he'd be willing to take. He didn't want anything to happen to him. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if- if... he couldn't.

He knew he couldn't.

"Bu-Izuku," that's when he knew. That was the moment Izuku knew that he'd just screwed everything up. "I can't-"

"Save it. I get it, you don't have to explain yourself. You were just trying to be nice and I was stupid enough to think any of it was real." He said on the brink of tears. "I-I'm just gonna go." He quickly left his room and rushed for his own dorm.

He slammed the door behind him, leaning against it as the dam broke free. He slowly slid down the door, the only sound were his sobs that echoed through the room.

It hurt.

His heart, it hurt. It was a foreign feeling. He had never been on the other side of a heartbreak before, never having someone he felt so strongly for. He had a new understanding for Uraraka and Todoroki. How they never gave up because it was to painful to give up hope.

What he didn't get, was how they didn't give up, for him.

He wasn't going to try and get Kaminari, for him. He wanted him to be happy, even if it killed him on the inside. That was the difference.

The difference between infatuation and love.

When you love someone, you have to let them go.

Kaminari stared at his dorm door, where Izuku had just disappeared from. He hadn't wanted it to end like that. He hadn't wanted to end. He just wanted him to be safe. Safe from him. He only ever caused people pain, as shown with what just happened between him and the green haired boy.

He knew he fucked up. He knew that he had hurt him more than necessary. But he couldn't help but think it was better this way.

He'd rather be hated and have Izuku safe, than be loved and risk his life.

Eventually, Izuku would get over him, find someone else. He'd be happy and he'd live out his dream of becoming the number one pro hero. And he'd do it all without Kaminari.

But at least he'd be able to do it.