Make me stay

Nowhere to hide

I don't really want to go home. But my stuff is there. I live there. I have to go home. 

Work isn't until tonight so I can't go there. I guess I could go to school for once but I don't really want to. Not today. 

I don't even bother taking the bus. My feet take me down the cracked streets where yellow grass has dug into the pavement. 

I hate these streets. I hate this town. 

I think I would hate any town though, so I don't bother leaving. Why go somewhere you would be miserable? At least I know where the dealers are here. I can be miserable but high. 

I wander aimlessly until I round the corner on Bulgrid street and spot Sophie. Her long hair is curled up into a messy bun and her face is free of make-up. 

I didn't know she looked like that. Almost alive. 

While working she's always in tight clothes and high heels. Always painted with dark make-up and glittering eyeshadow. And those long long long lashes. Now she looks normal. Like any other girl. Like the living. 

She's talking to someone but she sees me right away. I bet I look worse than during work. 

"Romeo! Hey!" she calls, much to her friends displeasure. I smile awkwardly and come say hi to them. 

"How are you doing? You workin' tonight?" she asks kindly. 

"Yeah. I was just getting some milk" I lie. "You?" 

"Nah, got a new boyfriend now. He don't like it" she says with a sigh. I know she doesn't like it either. But it's still better than being broke. 

"That sucks" I say and murmur goodbye before hurrying away. 

I see Kyle at the usual spot, sitting at the edge of the withered park, just by the cointainers. He has fair prices but suddenly I don't feel like partying. 

Jason makes me feel guilty about it. He doesn't like it. I don't know why but I don't want to disapoint him. 

I just make my way home then. It's like admitting you've lost. Return to main menue even though you haven't saved Princess Peach. 

I stare at the door a long time before quietly sneaking inside. Maybe I'm in luck. Maybe he's out. 

I've never been the lucky type. 

"Where the fuck have you been?!" he yells from the couch. I studder but he's right in front of me before I can answer. His hand slaps me hard across the face and I wince and cover my face with my arms. Nonono! I'm working tonight. No marks. 

"Just out drinking! I slept at Adam's" I try to tell him while cowering, but he's properly mad. 

"You fucking slut. Bet you guys fucked too! Jerking off like two twinks in a porno" he hisses and slams his fist down into the wall by the side of my face. I shudder at the closeness and try to make myself small infront of him, but I have nowhere to hide. 

"We didn't! You know I don't like him. I would never sleep with him! Please. I can make it up to you. Let me blow you" I beg but he's a fuming dragon right now. 

"Fuckin hell, Ryan. I wanna be nice, you know... But you make me so fucking angry, you shitty brat!" he roars and grabs my arm and squeeze his anger out onto my thin wrist. It's already marked with a hundred little lines, and now it's gonna be all bruised to. 

I'm Princess Peach. Where is my prince charming?  My Mario? 

Right. I know where he lives. I want to go there.

I wriggle free of his grip and rush to the door. I make it before he realizes what I'm doing but just as I slip out onto the terrace his hand grabs me by my neck and yanks me back inside. 

"Please, stop. I'll do anything. Just please! You want me to go get some beer? You want me to blow you? Please!" I beg shakingly but he yanks on my arm and slams my head into the wall. 

My hangover swoshes around in my head and the headache explodes to a new height. I try to writhe my hand away but that only makes him squeeze harder. I whine and stop moving but it's too late. Far too late. 

"What the fuck?! You think you can come and go as you like? Wanna pay the rent by yourself, huh?! No you can't cuz your ass is the only thing that people want. That and to stick it down your throat. You think you're worth anything?! Without me you would be living in the streets like all the other rats!" he yells at my face. 

He's so close I'm shuddering at his anger. This time I don't say anyting. I just close my eyes and let him pull at my hair and slam my head into the wall again. It hurts more this time. I wince and he lets go, only to twist my arm in an unnatrual way. The pain hits me like lightning. 

"AH! AAAH! AH!" I scream. He lets me go but grabs my neck and pushes me down. I understand what he wants but I'm too slow so he kicks me down. His shoe hits me in the stomach and I gasp at the pain. 

My stomach spins and I feel like trowing up but he will be so mad if I do that, so I try my best to keep it down. 

"There. Suck me bitch!" he barks and pulls me up by my hair. It hurts so fucking bad. I claw at his hand. He slaps me hard across the face again, before pulling his dick out. It's already semi-hard. Fucking perv. 

Today he has no mercy. I do my best not to push him away but I can barely take a second more. My body spasms as I gag on it. With my hands I grab his hips and shoot him away but he's a lot stronger and he doesn't want to stop. He likes me choking. 

I spasm trying to hold back my gag reflex. I feel it comming up my throat. My stomach is turning and I feel so sick. I can't hold myself up. I try so hard not to trow up. Tears are streaming down my face and there's saliva slobbering all over my chin. I feel it come up and he finally pulls out. 

He smiles as he sees me swallow the puke that fills my mouth mixed with his load. It's so vile. He's a fucking monster. I'm already crying but I wipe the tears, cum and puke off my face with the sleeve of my shirt. He just looks at me with a pleased  smile. 

"Now, don't go out without telling me, Ryan. This is all your fault. I wanna be nice. You are the  one who makes me like this" he scolds and spits at me. It lands on my jeans. I wipe it off with my fingers and he finally calms down enough to slap me one last time before he goes to sit down in the couch. I flinch as his hand gets close to my face and he likes that. 

My chest is heaving with the pain and disgust from earlier. My face is covered in sweat and my body is in shock. I want to leave but I'm scared that he'll kill me if I go.Instead I drag myself off the floor and make my way to the bathroom as quietly as I can. 

As if the shower could erase it all I cry into the water and tare at my horrible skin. Right now I just want to rip it off. I'm burning under the scolding water but the iceiness inside my chest is growing colder. 

Instead I just breathe. Right now I regret my decision not to buy anything from Kyle. Not even thinking of Jason can make this feel better. He can't fix someone as gross as me. 

I shudder at the freezing pain that is spreading inside my chest. I can hardly breathe and it feels like my body is shutting down. 

After a while I have to get out of the bathroom. I can't stay there forever. And it's not like he can't come in here if he wants to. He has hurt me in here too. 

The truth is I have nowhere to hide.