the hardest day of my life, i'm gearing up for what feels the end of a era, my time with my birth mother so short but so spectacular, lily was a amazing friend and a inspiration, im not really sure how exactly to go on i keep pushing everyone close to me away. serena has eric and jenny has rufus, dan is just dan ew! i wasnt gonna turn to him. i only had chuck, and i was so use to being his everything that me right now being in my own time of need scared me what if i wasnt enough, the overwhelming need for me to be the dream girl in public, the mistress in the bedroom, his peace in the chaotic world we were born in.
i sat in a trance on the balcony staring at the rain drops falling from the roof of the empire penthouse, i felt like i was finding my place here and all of a sudden had it ripped from the clinches of hands. i hear the balcony door open...
"i stopped by the vault on my way home, picked you up some pasta" i turned to see chuck unpacking the take out, he was trying so hard to put in effort with me.
"thankyou baby" i give him a half smile as he places his hand on my cheek he just sits beside me in the silence just holding me close.
"i miss her too quinn, i wish she was here too, i know she would help us navigate this empire were gonna build together, help me pick a wedding ring, help you plan a wedding, raise our children even." chuck hands me a wine glass as i turn to him, he was right he just reminded me of all these moments lily wont ever get to witness or guide me through.
"i just wanna get my family back on track, everyone's turning on everyone over money, shares, powers, jewels its honestly just a joke i lost my mom and every else is grieving objects" i confess i knew what it was like to live without wealth and privilege clearly no one else did.
"hey, we'll survive this" he holds me into his chest.
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as i sat having my makeup done i was scrolling on my phone being silent as chuck stood finishing buttoning up his suit
"everyone who's anyone is going to be there today to pay they're respects we cannot be late"
Chuck says as I stand from my makeup putting on my outfit I felt him trying to rush me my head in a million different places."Okay not talking to me today?" He snapped I knew this was a stressful time for him lily had practically been raising him.
"What yes of course come here, my heads just not all that in it i don't wanna go do this" I confessed he took my hands kissing them then pulling me into his arms
"I'm here, I've got you" he holds the hug tighter stroking my head I look up as he kisses my
forehead."let's go bury mom" I let out a little sad smile
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we get to the church and the place was full reporters friends family I was pretty sure the entire upper east side was standing in that room anyone who's anyone came to pay respect
"im so sorry for your loss" Blair admits looking toward me I smile nodding to her as she sat down beside Nate looking yes very pregnant
"we gather here today to celebrate the life of LILIAN Q VANDER WOODNSEN
a life not lost but cherished lily was the bass, Humphrey, VanDerWoodsen matriarch she was the glue holding these blended empire together, today we shall hear from those closets to her as we now invite anyone to say a few words" the priest says standing back Rufus paper in hand walks up to the podium."my wife she's she was a amazing woman....." on and on and on Rufus went as I sat only hearing the voices. As CECE Jenny and him go on making their speeches i don't even know where I drifted off to.
"lily van der woodsen, a angel sent from heaven, when my father died she opened her home her heart and her arms and took me in an raised me she never tried to be my movie but just a adult to be a role model for me she taught me how to build a business how to take over my fathers legacy she picked me up when I was down and roared the loudest when i soared there, I know her legacy will live on it lives on in all us kids, I see her in beauty in both daughters and her humour in eric but her soul and good values will forever live on in quinn. we love you lil" chuck says smiling as he took my hand signaling me to come forward to speak as it was my turn to close the ceremony.
"i know it's been a long day and everyone's gone on and on so I don't wanna like make funerals more painful for us then they need to be so like, to mommy i love you firstly thankyou so much for everything you did in our short time being reunited your one of the best mothers I've ever witnessed and to be perfectly honest, your everything I've ever wanted to be, I constantly will live to make you proud I just want you to be eternally proud of me of all of us kids." I say wiping a tear as chuck takes my hand i throw the first red rose in her grave. I drop to the floor in tears.
"I got you baby I love you I'm not leaving come here I'm here your gonna be okay" chuck whispers in my ear holding me in his arms.
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as I sat on the balcony the night time air brushed away each tear the fortress being the empire we live in my safe haven away from everyone who can hurt me all I ever needed was Charles and that's what the past few days taught me to be thankful for having such a amazing man by my side."I'll always love you quinn" I feel his arms wrapped around my neck.
"And I'll always love you bass" I say turning my head as he places a kiss on my lips
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The Upper East Side (GOSSIP GIRL FANFICTION)
FanfictionWhen Quinn Van der Woodson Resurfaces On The Upper East Side. Who knows what secrets she will uncover. Breaking up Blair and Chuck? Maybe even going after nate. Will lily have the heart to tell rufus and the kids about serena's secret twin. MOST OF...