Deer Luhan, With Love

91

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Chapter 91 – In Which Our Date Is Not Very Like a Date

Deer Luhan,

I’m starting to think Sehun and I are never not going to be cockblocked.

Leigh

It took until Luhan asked me if he could borrow some of my clothes before the others calmed down, staring at him like he’d suddenly sprouted tentacles.

“What?” he demanded.  “Those two want to go out and so do I, so if I dress up as a girl there’s not going to be the problem of two Luhans walking about.”

“What did he say?” Abbie asked, looking inquisitively from me to Luhan.

“You’re about to see Luhan in drag,” I told her.  “Mind going upstairs and picking out some clothes for him from my wardrobe?”

She looked uncertain as to whether she should squeal or be a little freaked out, and eventually settled for the latter.

“…Right,” she said.

“Oh, and bring him down a few pairs of socks, too,” I added.  “He needs them to stuff his bra.”

Now she looked really freaked out.  It was Luhan’s turn to look quizzically between me and Abbie.

“Is she okay?” he asked.

“I don’t think she approves of your fake breasts,” I replied, causing snorts of laughter around the table.

“Oh.”  He blinked rapidly several times and then flashed a brilliant smile at my friend.  “Any chance you could find me a miniskirt?” he asked in English.

I thought she was going to faint on the spot.

D.O. spread his arms solemnly.  “Welcome to the real EXO.  You are now trapped and there is no turning back.”  He gave an evil grin.

Abbie tugged on my arm.  “I thought the Satansoo thing was just a joke,” she whispered.

“Oh, no, it’s very real,” D.O. told her.  “And also, if I were gay, there would be no chance of Kai ever topping me unless he wanted to be castrated.  I feel that’s something I ought to set straight.”

“You’re supposed to be my friend!” Kai spluttered.

“Stress the ‘supposed’ a bit more, please.”  D.O. picked up the newspaper my dad had left on the table earlier and started to look through it.

“Abbie,” I reminded her, “Luhan needs female clothes.”

“O-oh, right.”  She vanished.  The boys watched her go.

“You know,” said Kris, “she’s amazingly calm considering how she greeted us at the airport.”

“Yeah, I thought I was gonna die,” Kai agreed.

“I think she’s still trying to adjust to the fact that you’re a total bunch of nutcases rather than being the godlings she expected.”

It took a very long time for Abbie to stop gawping once Luhan appeared in a summer dress I’d forgotten I owned.  He had a wig of hair down to his shoulders and kept playing absently with one of the bra cups.

“Hyung, stop groping yourself,” Sehun admonished as he finished putting everybody’s contact numbers into my phone for me.

“But it feels really weird!” Luhan protested, flicking the other one.