Deer Luhan, With Love

<<< Rewind: 5 <<<

"Whoa," said Taemin slowly. "She looks exactly like Luhan."

Changmin raised an eyebrow. "That's the point."

"Like, she could actually pretend to be Luhan and nobody would notice the difference," Taemin continued. Kyuhyun winced.

"Taemin, we've already been through all this-"

"I mean, I probably met her while she was pretending to be Luhan."

"You did," Changmin told him.

"Wow." Taemin stroked along Leigh's nose in the photo. "She's pretty," he said in English. "Or wait, is she manly?"

Kyuhyun, Krystal and Changmin all snorted with laughter.

Taemin looked up. "Is she an avatar for his feelings for Luhan? The fans are quite big on the whole HunHan thing and everybody knows they're pretty much detectives."

Changmin facepalmed. "Sehun is one hundred percent straight." He pursed his lips. "I think."

Taemin squinted back at Leigh's photo, but was unable to say anything before Krystal snatched it away.

"This is amazing," she said. "The fans actually might not kill her because she looks so like Luhan."

"But I don't get why you need us," said Seohyun. "What exactly are we supposed to be doing?"

"We are here as the maknae support team," said Changmin, "because Leigh's an awesome person and my friend and she's totally smitten by Sehun and we need to set them up."

"By cockblocking them," Kyuhyun added.

Krystal looked from one to the other. "Okay. You two are supposed to be two of the most intelligent people in the agency, and right now you sound like idiots."

"Yeah," said Seohyun. "I don't think cockblocking them is going to get them back together."

"It'll increase the sexual tension," Taemin said mildly, taking the photo back from Krystal.

Seohyun shoved him towards Kyuhyun and Changmin. "Go join them. You're obvious just as insane."

"Yeah," agreed Krystal. "This is supposed to be the Association of Evil Maknaes, not the Association of Idiot Maknaes. You boys can go start yourself a new club and we'll start our own one of the Association of... Ultra Cool Maknaes."

Everybody in the room snorted.

"Not cool, Krystal," said Seohyun. "That's so lame I think I'll join the Idiots."

"They think that intentionally splitting up two people who are on opposite sides of the world is going to somehow get them back together," Krystal argued. "That's so flawed I don't know where to begin. Like, splitting people up by default isn't going to get them back together, and what's the point in splitting people up when they're already doing so perfectly at keeping apart that they've managed to eliminate all forms of communication?"

"It'll work," Taemin said vapidly. "Separating true love will only bring people closer together. It's like an elastic band. If you stretch it far enough-"

"-It'll snap," Krystal interrupted with unparalleled bluntness.

"Oh yeah." Taemin turned and looked up at Changmin. "Wait, what are we planning? We don't want Sehun to snap. He's already pretty depressing and I think he might just go insane if he snaps."

"We're going to make Sehun's life hell for not making a move when he could have done for months," said Kyuhyun, "and then we're going to ship him over to the UK for Leigh's birthday. Chen's talking to EXO at the moment. They're probably planning something excrutiating for him there, too."