Deer Luhan, With Love

35

Chapter 35 – In Which Luhan Has Apparently Got Over His Fear of Heights

Deer Luhan,

Innuendo, innuendo everywhere, and not a trace of Queen.

Leigh

I awoke to a familiar roar of fury and discovered Lay already sitting up in bed, looking as though he was pretending he wasn’t there.

“What have you done now?” I asked him, pawing sleep out of my eyes.  Lay wilted.

“Nothing,” he protested, his classic “I’m innocent” look on his face.  I was learning not to trust it.

“Lay, do you want me to challenge you on that?”

He wrinkled his nose, but before he could reply, the door burst open and an enraged Kris appeared.  He was only in boxers of the Spongebob Squarepants variety – something I’d discovered during my time with EXO was that all of them only slept in boxers from time to time, though those who knew I was a girl tended to take pity on my heart and the blood vessels in my nose and actually wear pyjamas – so I got a wonderful view of his abs before I caught sight of the padlock that somebody had clipped in a totally inappropriate place.  I clapped a hand over my mouth, trying to hold back my urge to snort and laugh, but it came out anyway.  Lay was failing miserably at hiding a smile.

“Okay, which one of you was it?” Kris demanded.  “Chen, Tao and Xiumin are like this as well, so it has to be one of you two.”

Right on cue, Chen, Tao and Xiumin also appeared in the doorway.  Xiumin and Chen were wearing light t-shirts, so the only other abs eye candy was Tao (his underwear sported Scooby Doo, and I was pretty sure he'd stolen them from Baekhyun), but I was soon distracted by the padlocks.  It was all wholly inappropriate, but they were so angry and looked so ridiculous I couldn’t hold back my laughter anymore.  Lay, just what the hell were you thinking this time?

“Wow,” said Lay.  “If you lot look like twerps, I must look like a right idiot too.”  He clambered out of bed and I saw that he, like the rest, had also been padlocked.  Who does that to themselves?

Uh, Lay, apparently, another part of my brain reminded myself.  This was the guy who’d shaved off half his own eyebrow so that nobody else would think it was him, after all.

The four in the doorway swivelled around to stare accusingly at me.

“What?” I demanded, sitting up.  The duvet slithered off the bed and I realised that I was the only one dressed in anything vaguely decent.  Luhan’s pyjamas were a surprisingly good fit and extremely comfortable.

“You have the keys,” said Chen, pointing to my bedpost.  “Unlock us.”

I coughed in alarm.  You what, now?  I am so not going there.  “You guys do realise you can just get rid of your problems by taking your boxers off, right?”

Four jaws dropped open, along with a whistle from Lay and a mutter of something that sounded like “is that supposed to be an innuendo?”

“Why didn’t we think of that?” Tao demanded, hands immediately going to his waistband.

“Oh God!” I yelled, covering my eyes.  “Not in front of me!”

“Whoops,” I heard him say.  “Sorry, Luhan, I forgot you were a virmffn—”

“Okay, out,” said Kris’ voice.  “Problem solved.  Luhan, you’re a horrible child.  Don’t do this again.”

The door shut with a snick, but I didn’t dare open my eyes until a laughing Lay prised my hands away from my face.  I looked up at him, flushing a little and trying to keep my eyes away from his dimple.