Is This What You Call Love?

Chapter 19

Xiumin's POV

I look around the silent hotel room, the silence is deafening. My words cut deep. The darkness is blinding, consuming me. ((AN: comment if you know that quote))

Chen's been gone for a little over an hour now and I'm beginning to feel quite lonely in here. I'm terrified of what he was freaking out about earlier with me. Where does he want to take me anyways?

I slowly hear the door creak open and look over to see Chen standing in the doorway. "Are you ready Xiu?" he asks in a distressed voice. I give him a small slow nod, terrified to ask him anything of where I'm going. I'll just sit quietly till we get there I suppose.

I grab my bag and slowly shuffle out of the room, behind Chen and downstairs where we check out and get in the car.

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"Wait, wait, wait Sehun slow the fuck down I can't understand a word you're saying. So what's happened with Luhan?" I hear Chen yelling through the phone, instantaneously looking over as they mentions my Lu.
He's not your Lu anymore you fucking retard.

I have an idea of what he's done but I'm not 100% sure, though it would make most sense if he had done that. It's just been so ling since he has. I feel responsible for this. No stop kidding yourself it's not your fault the idiot tried to off himself again. He doesn't want you anymore.

"We need to make a quick stop at the hospital" Chen ends his phone call with Sehun and quickly makes a U-turn though it was illegal.

"Why? What's happened? What'd Lu do this time?"

"Sehun didn't say, just said he was dying and I needed to get there quickly."

I groan, mainly to myself "Of fucking course." I mutter also to myself and look down into my lap.

~\~\~\~\~\~

We reach the hospital and Chen rushes out of the car and into the building as I walk behind him, hands in my jeans pockets, walking at a normal pace. Chen looks back and lets out an impatient sigh.

"Come on, hurry up" he says grabbing hold of my arm and dragging me as he walks quickly, I fumble trying to keep up with the boy. We quickly make it into the building to find everyone else calmly sitting in the waiting area. As their eyes everted to me mine went straight to the floor.

"Xiumin why are you here?" I finally hear Yixing speak up after a few moments of them staring at me in silence.

"I came to make sure Luhan's all fine and dandy with his recent suicide attempt." I spat at him sarcastically without thinking. "Why the fuck do you think I'm here? Cause this bitch ass decides to make me come." I brusquely say to him once again whilst pointing at Chen. "Like I even give a fuck what happens to Luhan" I mutter, only lying to myself. I care about him, of course I'll care if he dies because of this, it'll devastate me, because after all I love this boy. And I always will, no matter how much pain he puts me through.

After a while of sitting, waiting, and a bunch of small talk a nurse finally approaches us.

"How is he?" Kai asks straightaway.

"Oh um yeah we have a bit of bad news for you boys" she says with a small frown.

"Fuck he didn't make it did he?" Kai exclaims, covering his mouth immediately afterwards. The nurse gives us a look of pity and slowly shakes her head. "Sorry" she exclaims as our mouths drop in shock.

He's really dead.

He's dead and it's probably my fault. I essentially killed this poor, innocent ((though not so innocent if you know what I mean *winks*)) boy.

((Authors Note))

Short chapter after short chapter. Ahhhhggggg soso sorry for that. My first chapter after not posting for a while and it's short as hell. I'm so sorry.

Okay now about my unannounced hiatus. So I was grounded (I had 2 F's)) and wasn't allowed my stuff back till I got them up and that took me a while to do. I'm just lazy and don't like doing my work. 

So now that I got my shit back I finally updated and I'll try also updating tomorrow.

What you think of the story?? Please comment.