Is This What You Call Love?

Chapter Twenty

"But wait I do have good news as well..." she trails off and we all look at her eagerly "your friend, he died but we were luckily able to bring him back. He's asleep right now and I don't think it'd be such a good idea to disturb him at the moment. So if you want to see him you'll have to come back tomorrow."

I quietly let out a sigh of relief. He's still alive. My Lu's actually alive.
Once again Minseok he's not your Lu.

"Thanks for the information" Suho responds warmly before turning to us and shooing all of us out of the building. As we make it outside Chen looks to everyone. "Xiumin and I have to leave now" he says quickly.

"Where are you going?" Chanyeol questions.

"I need to take Xiumin somewhere"

"Where to?" Chanyeol asks ardently, showing he won't be letting up anytime soon.

"Fine, whatever. Fuck it I'll tell you; I'm going to another damn hospital once again cause apparently I'm not 'mentally stable' enough to take care of my own damn self according to Chen. I'm going somewhere full of psychotic people who in all actuality aren't stable enough. And it's all cause of the stupid things I do over, and over, and over again. My constant suicide attempts in hopes that one won't be just another lousy, failed attempt and I'll finally successfully kill myself. As I've always wanted to for god knows how long!" I accidentally burst out yelling, instantly regretting over half of what I had just said.

Did I really just admit to all of them I was suicidal?

"Xiumin why haven't you mentioned any of this before?" Kyungsoo questions as my cheeks burn red in embarrassment as I feel ashamed.

I fall to my knees, tears beginning to spill from my eyes, panic rising in me at a scarcely quick rate.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. What are you doing Xiumin? Stop embarrassing yourself you idiot.

"But we're your best friends. Xiu you can trust us, we wouldn't ever use that against you or anything if that's what you're scared of."

"No, no I-I do trust you g-guys it-it's just..." I trail off not wanting to repeat myself. At this moments all the other guys squat down next to me and either rub my back or pull me into a warm embrace as they try to comfort me.

After a while my hysteric sobs slowly fade away till I'm no longer crying anymore. I stand up, still shaking and wipe my red, puffy eyes.

"Sorry, sorry, I'm so sorry"

"How long are you admitting him for?" Sehun asks directing his attention over to Chen as I struggle to catch my breath.

"I'm not sure. I have to talk to the people while I'm there and it all depends on how bad he is and how much help they think he needs"

"We'll miss you man" I look up to Sehun and smile at my best ability. "I'll miss you too, even though I've always hated you" I say jokingly with a slight laugh that Sehun returns. He holds his arms out offering me a hug that I choose to accept.

"Bye skinny Minnie" he says letting go of me. I'm not that skinny...am I? I mean I understand being called 'Minnie' cause that's what they've always called me that. But still.

I quickly hug the rest of the guys goodbye before getting into the passenger seat of Chen's car.

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After a while of sitting in silence Chen decides to speak to me.

"Hey Xiumin?" I move my attention from the window over to Chen.