Trip Through time

Late night writing

~Harry POV~

I sighed as I looked out the window. I gently rubbed my hand as tears pricked my eyes. I traced each scar in a soothing twitch, hating that I couldn’t feel a thing through the damaged skin.

I had forgotten my charms and woke up my roommates. I didn’t want them to worry but now that’s all they can do. Even McGonagall had looked at me with so much worry. I hated it. I didn't want them to worry.

I wonder how long I had been stuck in that nightmare for. How long had I been screaming and fighting against Ron? How long? 

I had hurt him! I actually hurt him! He was bleeding, and it was my fault! 

I curled up as I tried to block out the voices pounding in my head. I didn’t want to listen. I already knew what I had done. I didn’t want to listen!

Deciding to do something, I walked to the desk. I shakenly took the quill in my left hand. I bit my lip as I tried to write. Every letter I forced onto the paper was shaky and large.

I kept going though, writing over and over again. I wasn’t getting any better. It wasn’t good enough. I kept trying but with each letter I failed I came more and more aware of how hard this year would be.

I can guarantee that every grade I have is going to drop. Without the ability to use my right hand I will have to relearn every spell and hand movement. I will have to learn how to cut again, and how to catch with my left hand.

Biting my tongue, I focused on the letters, not wanting to think about the hell coming to me. I wanted to at least be capable of writing.

“Harry, what are you doing?” I jumped at the slurred and tired voice of Ron Weasley. His hair was a mess and sticking out at odd angles. He was sleepily rubbing his eyes as he yawned, only half aware of his surroundings.

I blushed as I quickly hid my messy writing. “Finishing my homework.” I answered quickly as he gave me a disbelieving look. It wasn’t as if I had actually finished all my homework but it still wasn’t what I was doing now.

“At four in the morning?” I queered as he stood up and grabbed the quill from my hand. “And with your left hand?”

I blushed more as I backed away from him. “Please, it’s nothing. Just go back to bed.” I begged quietly as small tears pricked at my eyes which I quickly blinked away.

“Harry, Harry look at me. I want you to talk to me. Why are you really up so early?” Ron asked me while staring directly into my eyes.

The deep blue seas stared right through me, making me forget what I was trying to hide. Carefully, he took the papers from under my arm as he scanned over them.

“Harry, why are you trying to write with your left hand?” Ron asked as he looked over the papers. “Don’t get me wrong, you’re good at it, but why?”

My heart leaped at the compliment even if I couldn’t properly comprehend what he was saying. My writing wasn’t good. It was a mess, so why would he say that? “I… I need to write with my left…” Mumbled quietly as he gave me a confused look.

“Why would you need to do that?” Ron asked me as I started to think.

There wasn’t any reason, other than the truth, to why I couldn’t use my right hand. But there was no way I could tell him the truth. But I also couldn’t lie.

“I… I can’t use my right hand any more…” I whispered as I subconsciously rubbed it.

“Why can’t you?” Ron asked quietly, being careful with each word.

“I…” What could I say to explain this?! “I… was in a car crash…” I muttered quietly avoiding his eyes. I was lying, he would know. “It crushed my hand. I can’t use it anymore.” I felt tears prick at my eyes threatening to roll down my cheeks as I forced out the lie.

Ron didn’t seem to realise that I was lying as he backed down. “I’m sorry harry. I didn’t know.” He apologised sadly.

But he didn’t do anything wrong! He shouldn’t have to apologise! You did nothing wrong.

I bit my tongue to stop myself from screaming at him. “It’s okay, I didn’t want people to know. I don’t want to be treated any differently.” I whispered as I lowered my head.

“Harry! You’re bleeding!” Ron suddenly screamed as I stuck out my tongue. I gently pressed the bite mark as I winced. I could taste the metallic fluid as Ron quickly grabbed his wand.

He muttered a healing spell as I re-lowered my head. “Thank you…” I muttered as I avoided his gaze.

“Harry, please don’t be afraid of me. You shouldn’t be afraid to speak, so don’t hurt yourself trying to filter yourself.” Ron spoke softly as he lifted my head up.

Once again my eyes met his as I blushed lightly. “I’m sorry…” I whispered while trying to get him out of my line of sight.

Ron let out a small sigh as he let go of me. “You shouldn’t be sorry about that.” He murmured as he put his head in his hands. “Harry, I’m not going to push you, but, I will be here for you.”

I nodded mutely as he glanced at me one last time before getting up.

“I know my handwriting is nowhere near yours but until you feel ready. I can scribe for you.” Ron offered as he smiled at me. “So get some sleep.”

He turned away as I looked back at the paper. I didn’t want to sleep. I didn’t think I could.

Sighing, I went back to writing. Not wanting to waste the next few hours getting annoyed with writing single letters. I started writing up my text books. I mean at least they make some sense.

What has happened to my life?