paroxysm | j.jh

23 - Narration

S A V A N N A H

I was nervous when I made it to the school. It's the day when the Art Club will announce the designes that will be painted at the school walls. I was half excited and the other was just terrified for the outcome of the result.

"Hi, painter." Haneun greeted with her usual happy smile when I made it to our room. I smiled a little and they surrounded me the moment I rested myself down at my chair.

"I expect to see your design later at the bulletin board, Savi." Lucas. I smiled nervously at him.

"That's what I'm hoping for, Lucas." I honestly said. Haneun pouted and Mark just stared at me in a weird way.

"Hey, calm down okay?" Haneun. She cares my back slowly as I looked down at my hands fiddling my fingers.

"I'm sure you did great, Savi." Lucas.

"Yeah, definitely. I'm sure your painting will make it." Mark added. I smiled and finally gained some confidence because of them.

"Thanks guys..." they all smiled at me and soon our home-room teacher entered the class.

My mind were occupied for the announcement of the designs kaya wala halos akong naintindihan sa klase. It was fine, I think because I don't usually listen to class either way.

The bell rang and my heart raced once again. Ngayong lunch break kasi ia-announce at ipo-post sa bulletin board ang mga designs na napili.

"Tara na Savi." Hani said. Tumango ako at tumayo na. I heaved a sigh. Sobrang kinakabahan ako.

"Hurry up, Savi. I'm excited to see your painting posted right there." Mark said.

"Nako! Baka nga 'di yung painting ni Savi naboto mo e." Asar ni Lucas. Napangisi ako nang mukhang na-offend si Mark. Hani laughed as well.

Kahit kaibigan ko sila ay diko sinabi ang itsura ng painting ko. I wanted to be fair. Like what I've said, we were asked to use pen names so that it would be anonymous. It was exciting, yes but also terrifying. I'm very nervous right now.

"Hey, calm down okay?" that was Hani when she noticed I'm walking very slowly. Nauna na nga sila Lucas samin ni Hani eh.

Tumango ako kay Hani at naglakad na nga kami papunta sa bulletin board. It was already crowded when we got there. Students were all over and we couldn't even squeeze ourselves further to see the paintings clearly.

Nang medyo humupa ang mga estudyante ay naglakad na kami palapit sa bulletin para tingnan ang sampung paintings na napili.

My heart ached as I saw familiar paintings posted right there. Mine's nowhere to be found.

Mukhang napansin naman ni Hani na tahimik ako kaya nagets niya agad. She quickly hugged me tight.

"That's okay, Savi! I'm sure you did your best! You had sleepless nights for that design." she tried to lighten the mood.

Lumapit na din sila Lucas samin ni Hani at nagkatinginan pa sila ni Mark.

Mark pulled out something from his pockets and it was a handkerchief. Agad siyang lumapit sakin at pinunasan ang mga mata ko. I was crying. And I'm not even aware of it.

"Don't cry." Mark said sweetly. Napapout ako at lalo lang napapaiyak.

"Wag kana umiyak, Savi. Kung gusto mo painting-an mo nalang yung dingding ng apartment ko." Lucas. Natawa naman ako dahil don.

Hani was still hugging me nang bigla akong napatingin sa tabihan ng mga nagkukumpulan na estudyante. There I saw some familiar faces.

I pouted nang makita ko ang mga mata niyang nakatingin sakin. I can't really tell what emotion was that pero worry is one of them. He's worried. Para sakin ba?

Minghao oppa was beside him and he smiled at me a little. I tried to smile back pero diko alam kung peke ang kinalabasan non. Umiwas ako ng tingin sa kanila dahil wala talaga ako sa mood. Ang lungkot ko. I failed.

I pulled off from the hug then faced Hani.

"I think I need to go to the bathroom." sabi ko sa kanya.

"Do you want me to--"

"No, it's okay. You can go first sa cafeteria. Susunod ako." I told her.

She looked worried. Lucas held her arms and tried pulling her. "Sunod ka agad, Savi ha." Lucas.

Tumango ako at naglakad na nga sila.

On my way to the nearest comfort room, nakasalubong ko ang president ng Art Club at agad namang nakitaan ko siya ng liwanag sa mukha niya.

"Savi! I was looking for you!" he said. Nagtaka naman ako don.

"Why?" I asked.

"You didn't submit your design! Ilang araw mo ding pinaghirapan 'yon! Bakit di mo pinasa? Changed of plans?" He asked and he sounded so disappointed.

My mouth hanged open. I was totally frozed at my spot and even can't speak a word. Tama ba ang pagkakarinig ko? Hindi ko daw pinasa ang design ko?

"W-What? P-Pinasa ko ang design ko President." nangunot ang noo niya dahil sa sinabi ko. Parehas kaming natahimik.

"A-Are you sure?"

I nodded. Lalo lang akong nalungkot. Saan naman kaya napunta ang design ko?

"Okay. Let me try to look for it. Are you sure na pinasa mo 'yon?"

"Oo President! csxjj pa pen name non."

"Okay. Try ko hanapin."

"Thank you president."

He nodded at naglakad na paalis. Ako naman ay lumakad na papunta sa comfort room.

Pagpasok ko sa comfort room ay diko inaasahan ang bubungad sakin.

My painting... in the sink... ruined.