Darkness - a self harm and depressed inflicted fanfic

Chapter Eleven stooch

-Allie's P.O.V-

I followed in the direction of Alex's eyes. Shit. He's seen the cuts on my hips. Oh well that's fucking great. I his usual hazel eyes go glassy. No, I swear to fucking God if he cries I'll have a meltdown. His eyes finally made their way up to mine. Then a small yet powerful tear drop fell from his left eye and dripped down his check. I hurt him more than I hurt myself.

He mouthed my name then moved closer, slowly.

"W-w-what did you do to yourself babe?" His voice cracked and as he stuttered. I literally have no words, so I just have him a huge hug.

"Allie. Why?" He questioned. He patted my hair and that's when I lost it. I cried on his chest while we clung on each other tightly. After a few moments we pulled away and he still had a hold on my shoulders urging me to look up at him. At his hurtful and soulful eyes full of sorrow.

"Um, I don't know." I said weakly, unable to find the correct words.

"Yes you fucking do Allie!" He snapped, squeezing slightly harder on my shoulders.

"Alex, please let's not do this. I'm fine." I spoke, I tried to avoid his gaze but he demanded me to look at him.

"You're clearly not." He stated. Obviously getting frustrated and annoyed by me avoiding his questions.

"Fine..." I gave up.

"I cut myself." I continued.

"No fucking shit." He mumbled.

"I mean, I don't regret it..." I trailed off seeing as the brutal truth shocked him.

"What the actually fuck?!" He demanded.

"It's just... When I'm at school, I laugh and smile. Then when I'm with my friends, well I get hyper and weird and as you know, crazy. When I'm with mum, I'm quiet and I try to stay away from her. But then, at home or whenever I'm alone; I cry, scream, self harm and constantly think of suicide." I confessed. I looked back at Alex and saw that he's motionless. After 2 minutes he finally spoke.

"You know babe, you're a strong girl." He simply stated.

"Huh?" I questioned. What the fuck is he on about now?!

"You're strong because everyday you walk around and people like me, people who are constantly around you, we don't even have the slightest clue that you're not okay." He finished. I looked up at him, his words not only astonished me, but captivated me.

"Alex, I love you." I said. He looked down at me and smiled and said:

"I love you, totally, tenderly and tragically." Then leaned down to kiss my lips. His soft, damp lips felt like clouds against my painstakingly dry lips.

Then he whispered something in my ear that I will never forget:

But in the end, they all drift away, even the ones who promised to stay. But me, I won't ever leave you. You're mine for eternity now.

"I don't want to love you." I confessed looking him deeply in the eyes.

"Why?"

"Because I'm scared." I replied.

"Scared of what babe?"

"Of falling for you, and never coming back to reality if we ever broke up." I mused.

"That. Now that, that will never happen. I love you, fuck I never knew what love even was til I fucking took the blame on Emmalie's assault! I did it because I know you wouldn't want her to be in trouble." He said.

Then I realised that not only just Emmalie saw this whole thing unfold but so did Lochlan.

"You're such an emo wanna be." Lochlan spat. But leave it to Emmalie to hit him. She literally, grabbed a plastic chair from next to her and whacked it across his face, leaving him on the floor whining and having two police officers restraining her and putting her into a cell.

"Fuck yeah bitch! If love is real then I fucking loved hitting that shit!" She spat and literally spat at Lochlan's face. Alex and I just laughed and he pulled me in for another hug.