Demonic // phan

Eleven

WARNING:  explicit sexual content

***

Even though he knew it was complete bullshit, Phil had been wary of Dan ever since that girl had talked to him.

It was just the fact that, Phil really didn't know anything about Dan in the month or so they'd known each other. Aside from the time when Dan had told him about his ex boyfriend, but he didn't count that. He'd been too blindsided by his admiration of Dan to ever fully grasp that he was almost a complete stranger.

Which wasn't a good thing to realize when, now, they were in a sort of friends with benefits relationship.

That had to be what they were, because they definitely weren't friends, not with all the kissing they'd been doing lately, but he was sure that it wasn't enough to deem them boyfriends. It was just casual making out, as casual as you could make it. It did get a bit raunchy at times.

Of course, he was sure they would never pass any other boundaries than the ones they had now. Nothing below the waist, and no clothes were taken off, apart from the occasional time Dan let his shirt come off, and Phil could fully take in that beautiful chest of his.

And he was okay with this. Never mind that, to the general society, he was probably nothing more than a common man whore, and a gay one at that. And he didn't worry about being nothing but a quick snog to Dan, because he at least knew that they were good friends outside of the bedroom. He just hoped to never be pushed away, like some pathetic school girl who couldn't let her crush go. He hoped that Dan would never think any less of him, just because Phil had some feelings for him.

And those feelings were starting to irritate him. He'd known, for the longest time, that he had deep feelings for Dan, but these days, they were a bit too much to handle. It was a very, very deep seated affection he had for the brunette, because he didn't want to have to use the 'L' word and make himself miserable with the thought of knowing that Dan would never feel the same about him.

*******************************************************

Phil didn't know how he'd ended up awake at one in the morning, staring at the empty black of his room, but he found himself unable to snap out of it. His head was clogged with thoughts he couldn't even pick out, just a jumble of random words and images, but there was the repeated flash of deep brown eyes that sent a jolt of something he couldn't name through his gut,

He hadn't been sleeping well for a while now, since his dreams did nothing but keep him up. He'd begun to actually hate the night time, meaning he was left alone, in the dark, with nothing but his thoughts to keep him company.

Was this some kind of test?, he thought constantly. Was the existence of Dan Howell, and everything he had brought with him, just some sort of challenge put on him by some higher power? Because if so, they were just some sadistic sons of bitches, weren't they, watching him constantly fail and make himself look like a right prat.

Or maybe it wasn't The Higher Power of Jesus Himself reigning hell upon him for his past sins. Maybe this was just his own doing, getting himself into a mess he knew damn well he couldn't clean up, but a mess that he loved nonetheless. Maybe it was, in fact, he who was the sadistic fuck, and liked getting himself into trouble with Dan, he wouldn't deny that.

And even still, maybe Dan was just a gift too good to be true. Perhaps he was being punked by some faceless enemy, for what, he didn't know. And Dan was just playing with him, playing with his feelings to exact some sort of petty revenge.

Either way, someone in the equation was sadistic, because there was no way that all this was simple, that it was just the troubling hardships of being with someone. There had to be a bigger part of this, someone controlling the board, and he was just a mere pawn in their game.