Demonic // phan

BONUS CHAPTER //

set sometime after ch.13, after phil finds out about dan's secret (which wasn't much of a secret cause everyone knew, it's literally in the title).

***

Maybe he was trapped in that 3 a.m. haze, where nothing was ever clear or made sense, but Phil was happy. Not the fake happy he'd been putting on for years, but actually truly content with everything that was happening to him. Dan lay beside him, silent except or his deep breathing that made his chest rise and fall. He wasn't asleep; did demons even need to sleep?

It was pitch black in his room, and they were sprawled out across his small bed, barely touching shoulders, but the energy that soared between them was almost tangible.

God, this felt so good. Why couldn't it always be like this?

Dan's voice broke the blissful quietness, a gentle baritone that practically made him shiver. "If you could..." He paused, as if trying to remember what he'd been saying. "If you could be anywhere right now, where would you go?"

Not the oddest question they'd ever exchanged with one another, but it still threw him off track for a second, a bit too serious for his current mood. "Do fictional places count?" He asked softly, and smiled when Dan laughed.

"Yeah, they do."

"Okay," he said slowly. Truthfully, he'd never thought about it, places he'd like to go. For him, he was stuck in this place for a few more years, and then maybe university, if he felt like it. Traveling, even in his imagination, wasn't something he found entirely appealing. "Maybe...Paris?"

Dan laughed again, and shook his head. "No, that's everybody's answer. Paris, or Hawaii, or New York; give me original, give me...personal."

He thought about it, and felt their skin touching, barely grazing, and heard Dan still breathing evenly, and felt his heart beating rapidly in his chest.

"What if I said I just wanted to be here? Right now."

A moment of quiet, and he heard Dan exhale sharply. "Very cliché."

Phil scoffed. "You think everything I do or say is cliché. It's just the truth."

"Okay," Dan said, but still chuckled under his breath. "I'll accept that, I guess."

"Whatever." Phil rolled his eyes. "And what about you, same question. Where would you want to go?"

Dan didn't answer for a long time, so long that Phil started worrying he'd crossed another line, asking questions he shouldn't. He did that a lot, and it never ended well, usually watching Dan leave as quickly as possible. But he remained.

"I think..." Dan said. "I think I'd like to see Heaven."

Phil turned his head and stared at him, watching the pale moonlight that streamed through his curtains stain Dan's face in a cold light. Dan continued to stare up at the ceiling.

"Me being what I am," he explained. "Not many opportunities to see the upstairs, you know? I've heard stories, of course, Zoe used to tell me a lot when we...but that was a long time ago. I'd like to see it." But then he laughed sardonically. "'Course, I'll probably never get to."

He was so beautiful, and sometimes it annoyed Phil. This amazing guy, who had so much going for him, and he expected nothing but tragedy for himself. Like he wasn't allowed to be happy, or get what he wanted. He'd been taught that way, it wasn't his fault, but it was sad.

"You're staring," Dan said, a familiar smirk passing his lips. Phil shrugged.

"I can't help it."

"Shit," Dan ran a hand through his hair and looked over at him. "You're really messing me up, Phil, do you know that?"

Phil scrunched his eyebrows together. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Dan turned into his side and moved in closer, until they were nose to nose, and Phil had to catch his breath for a second at the sudden proximity. A warm hand snaked around his waist, firm and electrifying.

"I'm not supposed to be here," Dan whispered, his breath fanning across Phil's lips like they were sharing secrets. "I'm never supposed to be here, it's dangerous and no good for anyone. But I keep coming back, and you keep doing all these things...looking at me like I mean the world to you, or saying all this stuff. It's so messy."

"It doesn't have to be," Phil said. "Forget them, okay? And just let yourself want this. You can have it, I'll give it to you."

Dan shook his head, and his hand pulled back, and Phil frowned. "It's not that simple, I wish...I wish I could have this, but I can't. I'm not someone you want, Phil-"

"You really are-"

"Then I'm not someone you need." Dan took a shaky breath and closed his eyes. "I could get you killed, do you not understand that? I could get a lot of people killed because of this."

He knew that arguing his point was useless, not when Dan was so self deprecating of everything he did. So he just nodded. "Fine. But at least stay for right now. Let me...be in the place I want to be most."

Dan smiled crookedly at him and agreed, pulling him to his chest and just staying.

When Phil opened his eyes again, the sun was just beginning to rise, a weak golden against the pink of the dawn sky, and he was alone again.

***

a/n: I just had this idea and I needed it to be written okay that's all no more surprises peace
:3