Demonic // phan

Seventeen

Warning: This chapter contains some graphic violence and blood. Not like gory or anything, just... well, violent.

***

For the next few days, Phil tries his hardest to stay away from Dan as much as possible. He can't avoid him completely, because they share a class, and Phil still isn't fond of skipping, but he has started making excuses after, hiding out in the bathroom or the dreaded library to avoid spending lunch with him.

He may seem selfish, but he can't help it. He doesn't want this anymore. Whatever him and Dan have, its not in any way healthy, and causes nothing but drama for the both of them. Dan is risking his family, and Phil has his life on the line.

And he hates the fact that he's going crazy. Crazy at the fact that Dan isn't there as much as he used to be, and Phil can't touch him or look at him. He feels like he's going through withdrawal, and he hates it, hates it so much. He's gotten addicted, and he's fucked.

But what else can he possibly do. Between his own negative thoughts and the new ones that Zoe has provided, he doesn't see any other choice.

He used to love being on his own. His asocial nature had been a comfort, and new people were always a threat to that, to him. He'd let Dan in so easily, hadn't even questioned it, and now look at him. Itching to be near him, to talk to him, anything.

Maybe he actually was going crazy. Maybe he was losing his mind, succumbing to the desperate urges that made him this way in the first place. He was so damn cautious, it wasn't even funny. Always looking over his shoulder, waiting for the next demon or other fucking creature to jump him, question him, make him even more anxious about everything.

And heaven forbid he have some kind of safe place. His house was empty all the time; his parents had decided this was the perfect time to go on vacation for themselves, trusting Phil enough to leave him alone for a couple weeks. School was a sore spot, and anywhere else just made his head hurt.

He was out of it, completely.

He took a much longer route to and from school now, trekking through a small forest of thin trees and coming in through a backdoor of the building, and leaving the same way. And sometimes, he would just stand and stare up, through the sparse coverage of leaves up at the steel gray sky. It helped calm him down some.

A few of his teachers had stopped him after class, asking about the dark marks under his eyes and his bored look in class. He'd never really been active before, but it seemed he was way worse now. He managed to brush them off, eventually, blaming it on stress from school and that he wasn't feeling too well to begin with. Not exactly a lie; he was always nauseous and he would get random headaches.

He didn't know if any of that was the truth, or if it was just Dan's already deep set influence on his life.

***

It was raining today. Not much, but enough to have to wear a hoodie at least. With it being so close to spring, frequent rain was to be expected; it would probably only get heavier later on.

Phil's brain was absolutely fried. School was starting to stress him out these days, leaving him heavy and tired. He was sure that he couldn't recite a single thing any of his teachers had said in the last week, and his grades were definitely not being helped by that.

Walking through the scarce forest was sort of therapeutic, he thought. It was extremely quiet, other than the occasional rustle of leaves by the wind or some unidentified animal passing by. Phil relished in the atmosphere of this place, and wished he could stay here longer than he was allowed. He didn't much like the idea of being out here after dark.