Killing Is Forgiving - (Killer Croc x Reader)

1. - One More Misfortune

"The quieter you become,
the more you can hear."

-Rumi-

━━━ • ✙ • ━━━

((Y/n)'s P.O.V.)

I kept running and running from those thugs. I knew they wouldn't kill me, but being raped is worse than being murdered. Hopefully, I didn't have to experience it for the sixth time, knowing that Fred had done it several times, one time with his so-called bar buddy. And if I ended up being raped tonight, then I just wish that they'd kill me once they had done fucking me up literally.

I had tried to kill myself for seven times, but somehow, the universe is always against me and never puts me out of my misery. I kept questioning myself, what had I done to deserve this, but then I'd just look at myself in the mirror, and everything clicks: that's rhetorical.

"Hey! Don't you fucking run away from us! We'll have fun, right guys?" The leader of the thugs slurred, followed by the clamorous laughter from his members, approving their leader.

I ignored them and just kept running as silent tears began trickling down, instantly blown by the strong gust of wind I was making as I ran, making my way towards spontaneous directions, hoping I would find an empty dumpster or somehow a small gap fit enough for me to hide temporarily in this maze of the alley.

To my dismay, all the dumpsters were full and there were no gaps to be seen. Knowing that the best thing to do was probably by hiding between the crowds, I sprinted my way towards wherever, hoping to find and reach the pavement. Those thugs kept chasing after me, getting more frustrated second after second. I only kept running and pray to God that I will lose them.

But, alas, I found myself cornered on a dead-end, with a mesh-wire fence obstructing my only way out. I huffed and puffed and kneeled to the ground, was about to cry out for help, but all I could do was kneel there, stiff as a corpse.

I wanted to look behind, just to realize that I didn't need to since their victorious and zestful steps had chimed along the alleyway.

"Well, well, well... what do we have here?"

And that's my cue to give up.

After almost what felt like an hour of wanking and shifting and filling, they slapped me hard on my cheek to bleed since I didn't really satisfy them. Not even moans. Not even cries. My stares were blank. Twinkling stars from the polluted celestial sky were all I felt. Besides, that's the only thing I went to felt. Their penetrations felt numb on me. They loathed it.

"You taste fucking horrendous! 3 out of 10. At least your sluttiness is free for us, eh?" The last of the members quipped as he buckled up his pants, grinning widely, giving me his ruthless stare. The others guffawed as a response. Once they're all prepared to leave me be, the one who I assumed as the leader beckoned his goons to wait. The leader approached me, hunching himself to level with my ear, delivering a threat.

"This never happened. If it did, we'll make sure it won't."

He gracefully stood up and spat on my shirt, then left with his goons as they conversed about their unfulfilled pleasure calmly as if my presence had always been absent, not caring whether people might overhear it or not. Once they had reached a turning, they turned left and vanished into thin air.

So was I to them.

I vanished into thin air for them. The rape never existed. All those rapes, actually. They never happened to me. I've never been raped. I don't know how it feels to be raped. I will gladly tell everyone the story of my eternal happiness and tips on how to deal with harassments if one asks me. I will pray that I will never be raped or even experience the first time.

Or maybe, tonight will be the eighth attempt of suicide? Hopefully, it'll be the last though. I'm done fighting for myself when the universe is not even by my side, let alone hope.

I found a manhole, inches apart from my position. I approached it, and with no further ado, I levered the cover apathetically. After a few efforts, I saw darkness and heard death, calling out for me from down below. Somehow, a few sheds of light from the looming building around me could shine their way through the manhole, but still not enough to reveal the extremity of it. I speculated that this manhole was not that deep, but still deep enough for me to have fractured skulls and dislocated bones. Probably my corpse would end up as rats' meal.

"I could jump," I thought to myself. After a count to three, I succumbed towards the darkness. It felt good.

But, just like any other attempts, the universe still loves tormenting me:

I was still alive and in one piece. And fuck life, for I also sprained my left foot![]