Killing Is Forgiving - (Killer Croc x Reader)

not really an update but an update nevertheless

(disclaimer: these writings aren't chronologically structured).

IT'S BEEN A YEAR HOLY SHAT—

I don't know if I should be writing this because I'm doing this on a whim AND impulsively. But also, I am SHOCKED that there are people still reading this fanfic even though I personally think it's too lengthy and too slow-paced??!?!!? (Not saying that it's impossible bcz everything has its own market but STILL?!?!?)

But anyway, this is just an update cause I think it's unfair if I don't give any(?)

But anyway, let's pretend y'all are asking me how I'm doing right now.

Really this whole year I'm doing fine, except maybe for the fact that I went through two breakups (but already past through it), got into a motorcycle accident (I was the one riding, it's my fault, now I have rash scars on each of my arm), caught my father going together with his illegal wife on a mall (it was dramatic af), and found out that my grandma has been hiding her wealth my entire life and LIED about being broke right in front of my mom's face (my grandma causes my mom's trauma and anger issues in her childhood), my aunt actually passed away bcz she's being possessed by this stupid old-man ghost (me and my brother were the ones who dug her grave and arranged her corpse [context: im a moslem]) but other than that, I am actually fine.

Well, right now I'm worried about my future once I graduated college since I feel like I suck at anything (but dont worry it's just my self-hatred saying things). But really I have supportive best friends (I'm selective with choosing my friends but thankfully it's worth it bcz my entire life is drama-free when it comes to friendships ONLY). Next June, I'll be having Community Service Program.

Hm... What else...

I'm currently getting to know this guy (it's almost 2 months now)... And...
My best friend applied for this scholarship where she'll go study in Italy and she passed the first test (hopefully she will pas the interview test)... And...

I'm currently making a Medium account that focuses on short stories and poems... (I'm on writer's block with my zombie novel because I lack knowledge of American laws)... And...

I gained 22 pounds in a year (im starting cardio exercise though i know its not a good choice for weight loss, also im losing commitment as much as u hate to say that)... And...

Probably that's the story of my life so far that I can think of right now.

But anyway, moving on to why I write this update.

So, do you remember in the kast chapter where I said that lacking knowledge of how the general things work in America or the modern culture is what keeps me from having writer's block?

I mean it, and up until now, even though I probably have more knowledge of it, I still think it's one of the huge problems. But do I want to continue this? Yes.

Do I have the energy to continue this? Maybe.

Do I have the confidence to continue this? No.

Why?

Bcz even though making mistakes is normal, i still hate knowing that I write something out of stereotypes or sounding dumb, or even diving too deep into the story and then I'll suddenly realize "oh shit, i dont know anything about how stuff like this work, yet im pretending that i know." For example? When I start mentioning "gangs up in Norfolk." I then realized not long after publishing the chapter that the crime world, especially drugs and such, is a stranger to me. And also, I think I made this story too broad, like I introduced strangers out of nowhere, and then I will have to create another character backstory (like Rose and even y/n's neighbor), and then I hate to think that you're all getting bored or tired of reading it, especially knowing that it's not even fully canon at all.

But anyway, do I want to stop this story from progressing? No!

But yeah, these issues are whats killing me most.

So what do you guys think (or whoever is reading this, really). Do you want another chapter? I mean I do love the idea of broadening the world but the fact that I need to research each time I'm broadening a specific element in the story is daunting af.

Do you think I should just focus on y/n, Javier, and Waylon? Do you think I should expedite the character development of the characters other than them?

Anyway I think that's all from me rn(?) So thabks for listening (or rather paying attention/reading) to my rantings rn. Appreciate that.

Goodbye.