Killing Is Forgiving - (Killer Croc x Reader)

8. - Lose and Lost

"Hope is the denial
of reality."

-Margaret Weis-

   ━━━ • ✙ • ━━━

(Waylon's T.P.O.V.)

It's been a week ever since the last time Waylon saw (them), and truth be told, he hasn't got over it.

(Y/n) reminds him of June Moone; reminds him of how it feels to be human, and it aches his already-shattered heart knowing that he's finally in love again and he submits to it. The reason why he kissed and left (them) in the first place?

Easy: Waylon knows he'll never have a chance with (them), so he chose to not get too attached to (them) and bid his farewell by doing something memorable. He didn't actually know whether the abrupt kiss disgusted (Y/n) or not, though he's mostly sure it disgusted (them). However, he finally confessed his feelings and it'll be just a matter of time until he finally moved on like he always did. Besides, if he does have a chance, he won't let it happen since it will only make (Y/n) a primary target of the terrors in Gotham city. (They) can be kidnapped if the others know that (Y/n) is the person Waylon cares about, and the worst-case scenario?

(Y/n) can get murdered.

But that wasn't entirely true. That wasn't his true ulterior motive of why he kissed and left (Y/n) in the first place. Therefore, what is it?

It's because Waylon had given up loving someone.

If loving someone means losing them in the end, then what's the point, right? All those good times will just become, well, memories! Thus, he fights for love no more and pretended his love was plastic, while in reality, it's the most sincere thing he's ever known.

But, then again, he comprehends this logic: a human in love with a gross, beastly, reptilian, cannibalistic crocodile-man whom people call 'Killer Croc'?!

He scoffed: it's too good to be true.

Waylon has a fantasy of being with someone who loves and sees him as a human being, not because of pity or, let alone someone who only sees him as an intimidating crocodile-man creature. But after realizing that it's too good to be true, he decided to let it become a fantasy. Why?

Because once again: it's too good to be true.

It's nihilistic, immoral, and disgusting in many ways. The only one he'll ever let himself in love with is the taste of fresh human flesh and their putrid, metallic blood he snatched from the outside world.

Now that he mentioned it, his stomach growled wild. Drunk men with high-end clothes and branded perfume made his mouth watered aggressively. Maybe strippers after one-night-stands with some corrupt filthy rich guys who are looking for an escape from reality and family feuds can satiate his hunger too? Or maybe bartenders with excessive cheap perfume and sweaty palms, blended with cold steel from various shakers and spilt alcohols of many types? He thought it couldn't get any better.

Come to think of it, he'd never eaten a bartender before. Experiencing one must be intriguing.

Until he recalled the time when he vowed himself not to become the same Killer Croc he was. He recalled he vowed that he'll change for the sake of (Y/n) because his love has conquered all of his egos. He recalled that he vowed whether everything went right or not like what he expected, he'll change for good, for the sake of (Y/n), no matter how hurt he is. Besides, he believes this is what June always wants for him: to live in peace and be peaceful.