What did I say that made him upset? Did he not want me to love him? Was he still mad at me for accepting a kiss from his cousin? How dare he drag me here, start making love to me, and then push me away like that! He never once considered my feelings! Today was all about him! He is conceited! Does he ever stop to even wonder how I am feeling? How I am hurting?
Fuming, I walked over to the bathroom and swung open the door. He had some explaining to do, but as I looked in the bathroom, Nidal was standing with his back turned to me, just staring at the wall.
"Nidal ... Nidal ... Nidal."
He ignored me.
I stepped a few feet closer to him and whispered, "Nidal."
Nidal turned around slowly, and his face looked tormented.
"Explain yourself," I said.
He walked up to me in two strides and grabbed me by the shoulders. "Why did you lie to me?"
How ironic! After begging me for months to love him, when I finally feel the love he always craved, I tell him, and he has trouble believing me. He has no reason to doubt me. My heart belongs to him and him alone.
He was staring deep into my eyes. I knew he was waiting for an answer. Slowly, the tears in his eyes rolled down his beautiful face.
I looked up at him and whispered, "I love you."
He pulled back and, in a voice that sounded full of anguish, told me, "Do not lie to me. Tell me the truth."
I looked up into his tormented, blue eyes and said softly, "I love you Nidal." And I wiped the tears from his face. "I remember a day not too long ago when you told me that you could not live without me. I understand now what that means, for I too cannot live without you Nidal." I told him, praying that he believes that I speak the truth.
Finally, I saw the muscles on his face relax. He took me into his arms and kissed me tenderly. I tasted the salty tears that rolled down his face and onto his lips. I pushed my body onto his, letting him know that I also wanted him as much as he wanted me.
My prince lifted me in his arms and walked over to the bed, where he gently dropped me on the mattress, and then he lay down next to me and took me in his arms again. We lay there, just staring into each other's eyes. Both of us had tears that threatened to spill over a river and drown us with love.
I understand now. It is simple. My prince wants to be sure of my love for him before he gives himself to me.
***
We stayed up all night talking. He had a million questions he wanted to ask me, and I also wanted some questions answered. I wanted to know every thought that occupied his mind. I thought I knew him well, but I was wrong. I would spend the rest of my life, if I had to, to find out everything that lies in his heart.
I desperately needed to hear from his mouth that he desires me as much as I desire him. "Nidal, if you love me as much as you claim you do, then why do you hesitate to make love to me? Is there something wrong with the way I look? Am I not woman enough for you?" I asked, and I pulled away from him and looked up into his handsome face.
Nidal's eyes blazed with passion as he pulled me back into his embrace. "You think I don't desire you?" he asked hoarsely, as he pushed his body on mine. I felt his huge manhood piercing my thigh and electricity shot throughout my entire body. "Loula." He whisphered, and he closed his eyes. I held my breath as I waited for him to speak. When Nidal opened his eyes, his hold tightened, and he sighed. "I want nothing more then to make love to you, but I will not, because I do not think it is the right time yet. I need to be one hundred percent sure that you are ready for me." He said softly.
"You think I am not ready? I have never been more ready in my whole entire life then I am at this very moment Nidal." I said, hopeful that he will believe me.
Nidal searched in my eyes for the truth. A few seconds later, he sighed, and said, "You are not ready Loula. I have waited for you for too many years to act on lust alone. I need more from you and I can tell you are not ready yet. After waiting for you all my life Loula, one more day won't kill me, but not waiting and rushing things will." He stopped for a brief second so I could comprehend what he was telling me. I can not believe I wasted all these years living without him, meeting all the wrong people, and not once thinking of this beautiful soul.
Nidal's beautiful face inched closer to mine. I can feel his breath on my face. I am dizzy with want for him. I need him badly. Does he not realize this?
"I can tell you do not understand my explantion Loula, which only proves to me that I am right. You are not ready for me. I have waited for you practically my entire life. I could not erase your image from my mind. I could not even kiss another without feeling as if I had betrayed you. I need for you to understand my feelings for you. It is very important to me that when I make love to you, your feelings will be as mine are for you. I will accept nothing less." he said passionately.
Wow! Unbelievable. Who loves like that? So many women are in this country, beautiful woman who would die just to spend one single night with my prince, and he chose me. I can't even comprehend it. It is above and beyond human nature. How can a beautiful man like this remain a virgin for all these years, waiting for me?
