Almost a month later, Nidal came to me again. I was sitting by the table reading a book late at night. Many candles were lit around my room, casting shadows of the furniture across the walls. Nidal walked in the room and locked the door. He hesitated for just a few seconds before he walked across the room and dropped to his knees in front of me. Nidal looked up at me, and I saw sorrow in his eyes. He looked unshaven and disheveled. I did not understand what he wanted. Why he had come to me after all this time?
Try as I might, I could not feel anything. I was completely empty, void of any life inside me. I looked away from him, unable to seize the moment. Nidal dropped his head on my lap and wrapped his arms around my legs tightly, weeping silently. I really do not know how long we stayed in this position, but it was quite a while. Finally, breaking the silence and without looking up, Nidal whispered my name. His voice sounded like a tortured animal. I remained silent, unable to respond.
Slowly, Nidal raised his head and looked up at me. I was unable to tear my gaze away from him this time. His tear-stained face looked tortured. And slowly the old feelings crept up out of nowhere. I could not help myself. My tears flowed freely down my face, unashamed of my feelings for this man who was the love of my life. I threw caution to the wind and whispered his name. I knew I was taking a chance that history might repeat itself and my heart would not be able to bear the pain, but living without him hurt even more.
Nidal's gaze never left mine as he stood slowly and pulled me into his embrace. He sighed with relief and then lifted me in his arms and walked over to the bed. He gently put me down and flipped over the covers, and I lay down and waited until Nidal pulled off his pantaloons and joined me. We fit comfortably together. Nidal held me in his arms all night. I was overwhelmed with happiness. We did not talk, for words were not needed at this time. We did not make love either. It was just simple and sweet. Two hearts reuniting and connecting strongly with each other again in silence. I dared not think of the morning. I didn't know if I would find Nidal still in my bed. I just enjoyed what I had for now until sleep claimed me.
When the first hint of morning hit my room, I awoke and noticed immediately that I was alone in the bed. My heart sank as I realized that he had abandoned me yet again. Fresh tears threatened to spill forth, and then I turned and saw him. He was kneeling on the floor at the side of the bed, looking at me with adoration. Tears were in his eyes too, and my heart raced so fast that I was at a loss for words. But are words needed at this precious moment?
I reached out and caressed Nidal's face lovingly. He tenderly put his hand on mine, pulled it to his lips, and kissed it. All was forgiven. I looked at him and realized I was his to eternity. I knew without a doubt that I was not complete without him.
"Am I forgiven?" he asked in a husky tone.
And I answered simply, "Yes."
Nidal dropped his head and whispered, "Thank you." He stood up from his position and ran his hands through his hair with a sigh of relief. "I must leave now. Get dressed, Loula. I will be back for you in a little bit." He left so quickly that I had to ask myself if he was really here to begin with or if I was just daydreaming.
True to his word, Nidal was back, and he burst in the room, smiling from ear to ear. I wished I could share his enthusiasm, but I was still scared that my world would turn upside down again at any moment.
"You look beautiful, Loula," he said breathlessly and pulled me into his embrace.
I had put on a fuchsia gown and tied a matching ribbon to my hair. I slipped on my slippers, and I was ready to go. Nidal took my hand, and I followed him out the door. It was the first time in over two months that I had left my room. It felt good being outside. We walked along the hallway, and everyone stared at us. They were surprised to see me out and about. Nidal stopped and kissed me, and he stole my breath away. I heard murmuring behind us. Nidal gave them something to talk about. I couldn't help but smile after seeing the expressions on their faces when they witnessed our little escapade.
The guards opened the palace doors, and we stepped outside. Nidal gently pulled me with him toward the gardens, and right before entering it, from the corner of my eyes, I witnessed Abdul and his mother further up by the stables. I stopped in my tracks and looked to make sure it was them, and when I confirmed it, I let go of Nidal's hand and ran to them.
Abdul's mother started to cry when she saw me. She dropped the basket with all the vegetables that she was holding and stretched her arms out to receive me. I fell into her arms, and she squeezed me tightly. We were laughing and crying at the same time. Abdul hugged the both of us, and the three of us, teary-eyed, were happy to see each other.
"When, pray tell, did you come here?" I asked excitedly.
"As soon as they took you from us, Nidal brought us here right away," Abdul answered happily. "We have been here ever since. This is our new home. Nidal said we can stay as long as we like."
"I am your new cook, Loula. Nidal put me in charge of the kitchen and the garden, and my son was put in charge of the stables. Loula, we have you to thank. It is all because of you that our lives have changed," Abdul's mother said excitedly.
"Where do you sleep?" I asked curiously.
"We have been given our own room, Loula. Your prince has been very good to us. God bless him," Abdul's mother announced.
