Chapter TwelveLoulaEarly the next morning, I awoke to find my lover gone from our room. The servants filled my tub with warm water, and I bathed and quickly dressed into my lime green gown. I pulled my hair up in a ponytail. I pinched my cheeks to bring a pink color to them, and satisfied with my appearance, I left the room hurriedly to search for Nidal's whereabouts.I wanted to tell him that I knew he loved me and I believed he would never betray me. I wanted to tell him that I believed him when he said he loved me. Shaeena was lying just to take him from me. Nidal would never betray me. I would tell him I believed in our love, and I knew it would make him really happy.After checking in the dining area and finding it empty, a servant directed me to the tearoom, saying we had a visitor and Nidal was in there. I walked happily over to the tearoom, and as I was going to push the door open, I heard Shaeena's voice saying something about the baby. My heart pounded faster as I pushed the door open and stepped inside.Everyone turned and stopped talking instantaneously when they saw me. I could tell Nidal was stressed out. His face was ashen, and his hands were shaking. He walked up to me and kissed me with trembling lips. I tensed, realizing I was about to hear something terrible. I looked around. The queen was in tears, the king was standing quietly with his back turned to everyone, and Shaeena stood triumphantly alone, holding on to her abdomen.I braced myself for what was about to be told to me. I was sure it would be a bombshell. I knew it would destroy everything I had come to love. It would change my life as I knew it. The color drained from my face as I thought of what I stood to lose. Wasn't losing my baby enough punishment? Why am I going to be subjected to more pain?Nidal sensed my feelings and took me in his arms. He whispered his love for me. His hands held on tight to my waist as he placed me in a nearby chair. My prince knelt down on his knees and looked at me. He looked ill. I opened my mouth to say something, and Nidal stopped me with a brutal kiss. I felt it. It was the kiss of Judas. He was about to tell me about his betrayal.With trembling lips, Nidal confessed, "Loula, I am the father of her baby," he said simply as his tears rolled down his face.The queen stifled a cry, the king hit his fists on the table, but Shaeena, when I looked in her direction, had a huge smile on her face from ear to ear. My body temperature dropped immediately. The room spun round and round. The king and queen ran to me, panicked by my appearance. I heard Nidal and his parents calling my name from somewhere far away, but I had not the energy to respond. I passed out in Nidal's arms.The smelling salts brought me back to the hard reality. I tried to collect my senses. I looked at every person in this room. Each was in his or her own hell, as was I. All except Shaeena. She sat there with a smug expression on her face. She claimed victory today. But I did not care about her. She was not my concern. Nidal was, and his parents would suffer for his thoughtless mistakes. But no one would suffer more than me. I would never be able to get over it.I looked coldly at Nidal. He cringed at the look I gave him. I was not about to make it easy for him. He just tore down my world. He betrayed me to no avail. I was speechless for the first time in my life. I knew not what to say or do. Nidal dropped his head on my lap and cried like a baby. I sat frozen, not able to give him the comfort he craved. He did this. He destroyed both our lives. It was done. There was no going back. I pushed Nidal's head off my lap and stood.I looked over at Shaeena and gave her a cold smile. She grinned wickedly. She may have won the battle, but I knew I would win the war. Remember the ying and the yang? The mountains and the oceans that couldn't keep us apart? Well, it might take a long time to recover from this disaster, but I knew deep in my heart that, in the end, I would be in Nidal's arms again. But in the meantime, my pride told me to run as fast as I could out of here.I turned around, held my head up high, and walked to the door, and I knew there was no turning back once I walked out that door. Maybe one day. A long time from now but not anytime soon. My bleeding heart had to heal first, if that were even possible."Loula! Loula, please! Please, Loula, we could get through this if we try, please," Nidal cried aloud.He ran to my side and grabbed me roughly to him. He was begging. I remembered a day a long time ago when I cried, begged, and tried to stop him from leaving me. I remembered how he had sex with me. He was cold, heartless, and mean. I remembered when he walked away from me and left me full of bruises.That was the day he had come back from Shaeena's arms. He had jumped into her bed. I remembered. It had come full circle. The tables had turned. I pushed Nidal away from me. He grabbed me again. He tried to kiss me. I felt his salty tears on my lips. I did not kiss him back. Nidal pulled his head back and looked deep into my eyes. He took a step backward. Did my eyes look empty and cold, the way his did all those month ago? They must have because his hands dropped to his sides.I knew he remembered that day. He looked at me defeated. Good, I thought. Suffer like I did! Cry your heart out like I did! Men are fools! I stepped around Nidal and walked out the room. I heard the queen's soft cries behind me, and my heart went out to her. She was a good woman, a good queen, and I hated what this was doing to her. But I had no other choice. The one person who had sworn to love me until his last dying breath had betrayed me. He had lied.Out in the hallway, I saw all the servants scramble away from the doorway like a pack of rats. They heard, I thought sadly as the tears escaped my eyes. I told myself that I would be all right. I do not know where I am going to go, but anywhere else in the world is better than here! I had a lot to think about now. A rough road was ahead of me, but I was a survivor, and I would manage somehow.I walked to the end of the hallway and looked out the glass doors. The sun was shining, and the garden looked fresh and inviting. Teary-eyed, I pushed open the doors and walked outside. I took a deep breath, and the aroma from the roses filled my nostrils with perfume that was still lingering in the air. I smiled sadly. I never took the time to smell the roses because I was always busy with life's trials. Always walking past them and admiring their beauty, but not once had I stopped to smell them. I took another deep breath and allowed the aroma to hypnotize me.I did not notice when Billal had walked up behind me, but his hand felt warm against my skin when he caressed my cheek and wiped away the single tear that had rolled down my cheek. I slowly turned to him and fell into his arms. He held me silently and allowed me to feel what I was feeling without passing judgment.A few minutes later, I pulled away. "Billal, I am hurting so much, and I do not know what to do. Please help me," I begged."I will help you, Loula. I will help you get over your pain. Soon you will be smiling again. I promise." He pulled me into his embrace to comfort me. It felt good to be in his strong arms. I knew he cared for me. Billal gently pulled me away. "Loula, I know what happened. I spoke with Shaeena early this morning. It must have been devastating for you," he said sympathetically. "I wish I could make it all go away, but it's the harsh reality." I just cried all over again.Just then, I heard Nidal call out as he ran toward us, "Get your hands off her! I will kill you for this!"I pulled away from Billal immediately and came to Billal's defense. "Go away, Nidal!" I held up my hand to stop him from getting any closer. "Nidal, stop! Go away! You have no business being here! We're done. Finished," I told him coldly.Nidal froze in his steps, trying to read my face. But I was not going to make it easy for him. Nidal turned his cold glare to Billal and said in a cold and suspiciously calm voice, "You don't miss an opportunity, do you? Like a cobra waits patiently until the right time to strike. You are a backstabber, you son of a bitch! You want what's mine!" He squeezed his hands into tight fists at his sides."Well, you weren't man enough to hold on to her! And this time, I did not take her from you. She left you and came to me willingly! And Nidal, I'm going to hold on to her, and I will never let her go. She is mine now," he said victoriously. "You were a fool to let her go! But your loss is my gain." He smiled wickedly, showing off his even, white teeth.This enraged Nidal. He charged and swung his fists into Billal's jaw. I was surprised to see so much hate in Nidal's eyes. Billal's head snapped backward, and he lost his balance. Quickly, he regained his footing and threw himself on Nidal like a lion. Both men fell to the ground. I was worried sick for the both of them. Backing away from the fight, I heard the queen yelling as she came running toward us. The king followed behind her. Nidal and Billal fought to the end. A lot of anger was unleashing in this fight. Some of the king's men came and tried to pull them apart, but to no avail. They were bent on ripping each other to pieces.Finally, the king himself stepped in and roared, "Stop it this instance! Or I'll throw the both of you in the dungeon!" They both stopped immediately and got up on their feet. They were both out of breath and looked like a mess. "How dare you fight on palace grounds! The both of you are fools!" the king barked, disgusted, as he walked away with his men.The queen walked over to me and asked, concerned, "Are you all right, child?" She gave me a warm hug. "It seems like the boys are back to being five years old again. They have not grown up. They act like little children," she said angrily. She turned to her son. "Nidal, your concern should be to try to bring Loula back to your bed. Instead with your actions, you are pushing her further away from you. Jealousy blinds you, and you do not realize the truth!""Mother, stay out of this!" Nidal said coldly. And then he turned his gaze on me. "Loula, come back to the palace with me. Please, I beg of you."A stern look was on his face as he waited for my reply. He thought it was simple to forgive and forget, as if everything that happened earlier did not exist. It was very typical manly behavior. Well, I was not about to forgive and forget that easily. I wanted revenge. Someone had to pay for all the heartache."Nidal, go away. I am not going anywhere with you," I said coldly.I could clearly see cold sweat break out on Nidal's face. Nidal was hurting. He looked tired as he spoke now, "Please, don't be so quick to speak." He stepped closer to me.I took a few steps backward and fell into Billal's arms, and he wrapped his arms tightly around me. Nidal reached out and tried to pull me away from Billal's grip, but I held on for dear life. Nidal noticed and backed away. I could tell my actions hurt him.Nidal's eyes never left mine. I saw fear in his eyes as he continued to look at me. I never saw fear in his eyes before. He must think I don't love him anymore. I wanted to tell him that I would never stop loving him, but my ego did not let me. He betrayed me in the worst possible way. He made love to another woman. The hands that caressed my body touched another woman. I closed my eyes. The stabbing in my heart was very painful. He got another woman pregnant. She carries his child. My baby is dead! No! I will not go with him!My prince looked like he was about to cry. He held out his hand to me one more time. "Take my hand, Loula. Come with me, please. I beg you. I am deeply sorry for all the pain I have caused you. I will never stop trying to make it up to you. Please, Loula, come with me," he begged."No! I will not come to you! I will never come to you again! You have killed whatever feelings I ever had for you, Nidal! Go away. I do not want you anymore! I do not love you anymore, Nidal," I lied through my teeth.Nidal stood where he was, staring at me and not believing the words I just mouthed. His eyes were wide as he tried to figure out what to say next. The queen, who stood silently all this time, gasped at the mention that I didn't love her son anymore.Billal tightened his hold on me, and he whispered for my ears alone, "Come with me, Loula. I will keep you safe.""I am going with Billal!" I lifted my head up high. "He treats me with respect.""Why Billal?" Nidal asked with a deadly calmness."Because I have come to realize that it is him that I love, Nidal, not you." I lied again, but this time, I felt my heart twisting with pain."Stop it!" Nidal ran his hands through his hair. "You do not love him! You're lying! Your heart belongs to me!" he said tightly."You are wrong, Nidal. I do not love you, and I never have. I love Billal! It was his baby I carried in my womb, not yours. I have loved Billal from the beginning, but I stayed with you because you were the crown prince. I used you!" I lied.Nidal's face changed many shades of color before anger set in. I saw his jawline tense, and he roared like a lion ready to attack. "No, you love me! The baby was mine! I know it was!"The queen ran to her son to comfort him. I knew I had gone too far this time. But like the fool I was, I continued pouring out the poison that finalized the end of our relationship. "No, Nidal, you are wrong about that. I'm sorry, but I do not love you. Never have, and the baby was Billal's," I said calmly.The trembling of my lips was the only thing that gave me away, and to hide that fact, I turned around and kissed an unsuspecting Billal on the mouth. Billal wrapped his arms around me and eagerly returned the kiss. He knew I only did it to irritate Nidal. He was playing my game, and he allowed me to use him.That did it. Nidal looked devastated. His shoulders slumped as he turned and walked away. His mother followed him for moral support. They walked to the palace and disappeared inside. This was all too much for me. I fell into Billal's embrace. I cried until there were no more tears left. He was so gentle with me, so understanding and so supportive. Billal was a kind man, and I knew he would take care of me.
