It is November 24, 2014. Night fall.
Everything is darkening. The floor is shaking and I can no longer breathe. Im searching for your face. My lungs shut down and everything goes slowly, there is no time here with you. It has been 159 days with you and everything is how it was on the evening of that day when you first said hello. You shot through my chest and made yourself a place in my heart but now it is your home. Blood drips and pumps through me so my heart can continue to beat. It beats for you. My hands start to tremble as it touches your soft skin, you notice and grab both of my hands, kissing them. My mind goes ballistic with images, thoughts, all full of you. we're on my bed now, laying down with you in my arms. You have your head on my chest along with one hand as well, i wrap one arm around you ,and with my other I hold your hand. The bed starts to shake and it slowly turns to dust , leaving us on the ground. Then the ground crumbles apart, everything underneath us slips away to nothing and we're floating in the dark atmosphere but we're still attached to one another. I close my eyes for a short second and when I open them to look at you, you're gone. You're no longer in my arms, my heart beat quickens in panic. I start to wander for many minutes, Im looking for you. Im trying to shout your name but when i try ,nothing comes out. Moments after when reality finally hits me ; You're gone, You're gone, You're // G O N E//. My heart stops as this starts to settle in my mind. My universe has been taken from my arms. My love. My princess. My angel. My beauty. My everything. My heart.
The skin on my hands, tumbles off like leaves from a tree. The hair on my scalp has started to fall out due to me destroying myself. I've become an art project. Blood is the color red, it is the most used here. Then there's brown, dark brown since my eyes have started to become dead. There is no light in them anymore. Then a light cream color, for my skin is no longer as dark as it used to be. I've closed myself up under blankets in a bed that has swallowed me whole. I refuse to eat and I refuse to leave thus leaving me getting only paler by the hour. Don't forget a light gray so I can fill in the circles under my eyes due to lack of sleep. This all creates the only colors to ever come across my body. Brown, gray, red, light cream, all the colors of the poisonous me with venom stuck on my lips so when I kiss you ,you will either die or crave more. On my fingertips, are razors and I'll slide my hands down your sides, softly and in the morning, you'll wake up to my finger prints up and down on your sides. Then when we're intimate with one another and I enter my fingers in you, you'll whimper in pain and in pleasure. You'll be screaming my name and I'll place my mouth on yours when you do.
