January 3rd. 2 0 1 5.
This new year started out dreadfully. I can look out my window to see nothing other than the dark. 49°F in Texas. Humid. Raining. L o v e l y. The sky has been crying for a while,
It's taken away all my tears. At least I started this year with no one seeing how weak I am. Days have gone by & I've soon to be forced to go back to a place that they call education but I call h e l l.
I can't do anything. I can't leave. I can't move. I can't even breathe. I want to call out. I want to yell. I want Alaska to come help me. Any one to come help me.
I'll call out your name but you won't call back. I could have said that this day would have been better If I weren't in it but that'd be false. Y'know you'd miss me. You'd miss my sweet words & the way I whispered to you when we were intimate with one another. I breathed you in. Inhaling, barely exhaling. You only liked me this way during winter.
I always told you that if it would make you less sad, that I would die by your hand. Just tell me & this'll be the last time you'd ever be with me.
I'd be okay with it too because I'd be doing it for y o u.
I want this to be short.
I want this to be long.
I want this to be meaningful.
I want this to be irrelevant for I am.
I want you. Youyouyouyoumetoliveyouyouyou.
I want to say the world's crashing down & is being destroyed but it's not. That'd be a lie. We're destroying ourselves. Everyone. Look outside. You'll see horrid weather & men building things that have no relevance in the area they're being built.
Look in the sewers, you'll wish to see mutants ; ninja turtles that don't exist. We have no saviors.
Look to your Mum & Father, they may be happy, they may be miserable, they'll never tell you.
Look to your sibling, if you have one, you have no idea what they do when no one's around. We have no truth.
The world is fine but the humans that walk upon the earth are sickening. Some are loving but they may not be happy. We're all dying. In some type of way. Either emotionally, physically, or mentally.
To think about this is sad.
It happens every day, regardless of the weather.
Winter, fall, summer. They're all washed up.
