Rediscovering Reality

'He's a Prick' and Speeches

"Hey i know you said you'd come back in when you were ready but i figured you might want some company."

I heard Theo's voice echo through the empty garden. 

"Yeah alright. You didn't piss me off too much come sit." I turned around with a smile. 

"I just saw Charlie and his father leave, were you really that bad of a dancer?" he laughed

"Oh no he's just really bad at keeping secret plots to win me over for my money a secret and instead talks about them openly with his father after he has already made a big deal to me about how important genuine people are to him and about how he wants to be the one to take care of me." i scoffed.

"Like you need someone to take care of you," Theo laughed, "You seem to have that pretty much covered on your own."

I turned to him, "Exactly!"

"That sucks you guys really seemed to be hitting it off." He leaned back in his chair. 

"Well maybe. But there was no...i dont know...he would have been a perfect match for me about two years ago. Actually three or four." I said reasoning out the numbers and mental states in my head. 

"Why is that?" he asked cocking his eyebrow at me. 

"Back then i was....well i was hyperinvolved and cared so much about everything but i was also...it was different. It was before all of it went to hell you know?" Theo nodded his agreement. "So even though i KNEW what pain looked like and and already been through a lot. I had no idea the kind of stuff i was going to go through. I was so innocent. He had no idea about the kind of things we went through. He was so blissfully unaware about it all and how he was acting. It's just bizarre." 

I stared up at the sky. The stars above seemed so far but so close. I tried to remember the last time i looked at the stars without my brain trying to plot our next course and figure out how to stay in hiding. Or before i was wondering what Voldemort was doing, far before we even had to be on the run. When we still worried for our lives. I had trouble remembering. 

"Im not the same person i was before all of this either." Theo said softly, "I dont know if im better or worse or anything like that i just know that im different now. I just know that this version of me is not the same version that stepped on the train to go off to my first year." 

"Its okay that we're not the same. It would be scary if we were." i laughed. 

"Yeah it probably would be."

I turned to look at him and saw him staring back at me. Those chaotic green eyes that had picked me up in the forest that day. Im glad that he was here. 

Theo reminded me of the physical embodiment of calm. 

On the table inbetween us he moved his hand closer to mine. Until our pinkies were just barely touching. 

a small gesture. him telling me that he was here. 

i smiled. 

a small gesture. me telling him i was glad that he was here. 

"Oi! I swear to merlin! Mate if you're snogging or even trying to snog my sister. Nott i will not hesitate to crucio you right here right now!" Both of us jumped a little bit as Blaise came loudly through the double doors.

"No i swear im not. I was just listening to her tell me about how," He paused for a millisecond before continuing on, "Charlie is a complete wanker. Was literally just here for the money."