When Our Eyes Meet {Iwaoi}

One // Painfully in denial

It was a Sunday morning and there was no volleyball practice leaving Iwaizumi to get lost in his thoughts. It's been roughly around two weeks since he's had a proper conversation with Oikawa not that he was even interested.

Every time their eyes met Iwaizumi couldn't seem to hold their gaze and avoided making direct eye contact whenever they were together. Oikawa didn't seem to notice as it wasn't unusual for them to spend some time apart. This made Iwaizumi feel slightly uncomfortable but he wasn't sure why.

His feelings were always unreadable even for himself so when he started getting this weird feeling he brushed it off. Until it started to have an impact on his every day life such as going to school, playing volleyball and talking to his best friend, Oikawa Tooru. He began to think that he was just overthinking it and getting worried and fearful for nothing but that wasn't the case. At least not anymore.

This weird and dreadful feeling started when they entered high school but it was less noticeable to him as he was to busy with other things that kept him preoccupied and distracted. However his mother knew her son all to well and started asking questions leaving Iwaizumi with creased eyebrows and confused as to why his mother would ask something so ridiculous.

He knew she was concerned but to get involved at such a time where he wanted nothing more then to graduate and never see his face again. Deep down he knew that he wasn't serious, at least he hoped.

His feelings started to get jumbled up together mixing up with one another. This frustrated him even more leaving him always aggravated and confused, mostly angry. Not at anyone in particular but at himself for being so oblivious and stupid.

"Hajime, it's okay to have these feelings. There's nothing to be ashamed of." His mother spoke softly as she walked into his room with a basket full of his laundry. He groaned when he saw that they weren't folded. "I see the way you look at him." She sat down and started to help him fold his laundry, handing him a shirt and then his favourite jeans. He folded them neatly standing up to place them on his stand up dresser.

"Mom it's not like that and you know it. We're just friends." He looked down biting his bottom lip. The air around him slowly started suffocating him, then his lip trembled.

She sighs. "Mom, am I gross? I don't know what's wrong with me, this isn't right." She stood up and pulled him into a tight hug.

"No, of course not!" She ran her fingers through his rough brown spiky hair knowing it calmed him down and that he secretly enjoys it. She felt for the poor boy, not only is experiencing new emotions terrifying but also one of the worst possible things to find out while you're young and still attending high school. It's growing up, yet still worrisome.

She wanted to believe that it was just a phase, as sad as it may sound she didn't want her son to suffer something so cruel as being bullied for being different.

"Will he think I'm gross?" He emphasized on 'he', she looked at him with so much love. "No, I don't believe so, Toru is a good boy and your best friend after all." He heaved a heavy sigh already feeling the weight being lifted off his chest. "I'm scared" He whispered mostly to himself.

"I know, I know. Finish folding your laundry and meet me downstairs." Raising an eyebrow he was about to politely decline but the door was shut before he could open his mouth to protest. I hate you, he silently cussed as he finished with his chore.

Instead of going straight downstairs and disobeying his mother's request he fell face-first onto his bed rolling over so he was facing the wall. 'I hate this feeling' he thought.

'Was my mother right all along? Do I actually have feelings for Oikawa?'

Ridiculous, it was impossible.

'Denial~' his subconscious sang. Bloody hell, he ran his hands down his face in frustration.

"Hajime, let's go!" His mother shouted up the stairs. "Coming!" He groaned lifting himself of the comfortable surface. The displeasure was evident and so was the glare he shot his mother's way that she skillfully ignored. He entered the living room where she stood grinning while he held a look of pure annoyance. She was used to his introverted and annoyed personality after all.

"Really?" Iwaizumi asked. "Kitagawa First semi finals?" The game where her son and his best friend had won and made it to the finals. She smiled knowing she picked a good one.

"Yes!" She beamed. "I have to run to the store real quick to buy some snacks and dinner. I won't be long." The door shut loudly in the now empty house echoing through the halls, the kitchen and directly into the semi spacious living room. The only source of light was the tv as dawn started to make it's appearance.

Monday was approaching too rapidly to his dismay. Meaning he'd have to see the schools pretty-boy who no doubt about it was indeed extremely popular. The boys envied him while all the girls are disillusioned and awed by him, they are always eager to get his attention... even some of the guys.

He couldn't help but get an unsettling feeling that sat at the pit of his stomach. He refused to label it and decided to ignore the unwanted sensation.

While waiting for his mother to return his phone takes the time to buzz. Upon turning on the screen he's shocked to see a couple unread messages from Oikawa and one from Mattsun. Avoiding answering Oikawa he opens Mattsun's message, his most recent.

'Hey, want to hangout after practice tomorrow. My family is out of town.' Being indecisive as he is, he ponders over the offer. Mattsun immediately sends another,

'Hannamaki and Oikawa will be there. Just the four of us.' Suddenly he feels nervous and right then and there he wanted to say no. It wasn't that he didn't want to see them it was more-so that he was just beginning to understand how he felt and that he wasn't capable of humiliating himself just yet.

You could call him cowardly but he was frightened to see the reactions of his best-friends and to hear their thoughts.

Even so,

'Yeah, sure I'll see if I'm available.' It wasn't a direct 'yes' but Mattsun took it as one anyways,

Iwaizumi wasn't prepared to come out and tell his friends the truth about himself.

The denial he felt for as long as he can remember sunk in and he finally accepted his new reality.

That he was undoubtedly gay.