Title: Accidentally Reviving a Serial Killer
Author: FutureWriterLA
Genre: Paranormal
Sub-Genres: Adventure and Horror
Tags: Action, Adventure, Banshee, Creatures, Danger, Family
Blurb:
Avesbury is a rather busy town, with even busier students preparing for the end of exam season.But when a serial killer, Thomas Ramirez, happens to rise from the dead, the supernatural get involved. And the one responsible for reviving the cruel man is none other than a drunk, young necromancer who now has to take responsibility and try to stop him while he can.But nothing is easy and under some circumstances he has to partner up with a girl who has a troublesome past of her own.
💎 Reviewer: WondaGal
Review:
Title: 4/5
The title is interesting.
Cover: 3/5
Blurb: 4/5
That blurb is intriguing and draws me in
Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling: 2/15
Plot Development: 12/20
Character Development: 16/20
Worldbuilding and descriptions: 2/10
Originality: 6/10
Enjoyment/Hook: 4/10
Total: 53/100
Chapter One
Great way to open, but watch your grammar. Citizen's is singular, it seems like you're referring to the entire town, so it should be citizens'. I love the name you gave your main character. Adelyn Quinn is really unique. Watch your tenses. I see some switching between past and present tense going on. Languages should be capitalized, so it's English as opposed to English.
Chapter Two
So I'm slightly confused. The magic spells came out of nowhere. That part could be made a little clearer in the first chapter so that the reader is more clear on what's going on. Also I've noticed that you tend to chunk together pieces of dialogue. Every time a new character speaks, start a new paragraph.
Chapter Three
So this worldbuilding needs some work because I'm still a little confused about their world. Also, you have a lot of commas missing near your dialogue tags. If you have a dialogue tag before the dialogue, you need a comma just before the dialogue starts. I do like the intrigue you have going on, I just wish this wasn't so jarring in terms of the introduction of this world.
Chapter Four
Great way to open this chapter. The banter between the characters is on point here, but watch your comma placement in your dialogue tags. You're missing some.
Overall
You'll need to go back and do a thorough proofread and think about your worldbuilding concepts. But your characters are decent and developed.
YOU ARE READING
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