♥ you couldn't have loved me better » [phan one-shots] ♥

♥ thank you, dan and phil » [not a one-shot] ♥

I just want to take this time and thank Dan and Phil for everything they've done. I know no one's going to care, but it's nice to get this out (not that Dan and Phil are ever going to see it, either). Anyway, those two idiots have done so much for me in the last couple of years. They've helped in so many ways, it's unbelievable. Just being able to see and hear their beautiful laughs is enough to make me feel happy. When I first clicked on their videos, I did not expect all this hapiness to come with it. I'm glad it did.

They seem to stop me from doing things I shouldn't be doing. This is personal and I don't mind sharing it (also trigger warning), but there was a night I had felt completely hopeless. I had cut after three months of being clean, I had started developing an eating disorder, and I was ready to get it over with. But I decided to watch one last video. That video just so happened to be 'Phil Is Not On Fire 5', but while watching that video, I had realized that if I killed myself, I would never get to see or hear one of their videos again. I wouldn't get to hear their laughs, squeal at all their little gay moments, see when they were doing a big project, buy any of their merch, I would never get to that again. And knowing that, you know, it stopped me from doing something I wasn't supposed to do. It works to this day.

I'm proud to call myself a part of the phandom. I'm proud I know two idiots by the names of 'Dan Howell' and 'Phil Lester'. They're like rays of sunshine in my life and I love them more than they'll ever realize. I love you, Dan and Phil. Beyond belief. ♥

[Sorry for the sob story, jfc. Anyway, don't kill yourself. That wasn't the point of this thingy, but don't do it. Think of everything you'll miss. Do you really want to leave all of that?]