♥ you couldn't have loved me better » [phan one-shots] ♥

♥ one-shot nine // march [au; ending 2/3] ♥

*** Second alternate ending to one-shot eight // march [ending one]. I guess you should read that first bc i'm starting halfway through that one ***

~♥~

✖ Phil's POV ✖

But I could never let go.

So, I didn't.

I didn't let go of Dan. I begged and cried for him whenever he left and he always seemed to feel bad so he stayed. He would always stay with me and tell me he wouldn't leave me, which always made me feel at ease.

We would stay together all the time and I loved it.. but it didn't seem like Dan did. I would try to make him happy by giving him everything he wanted. I would buy him things and kiss him and hug him and he would always smile, but he didn't look happy.

I asked him why he felt sad, but he'd just wave me off and tell me I was getting the wrong idea. I didn't believe him, though. Why was I content and he wasn't?

I would ponder the thought everyday. Right before I went to sleep, I thought about it. When I took a shower, I though about it. When I was sat cuddled up with Dan, I though about it. What made him this way? 

I just couldn't understand why.

Until Dan and I had went out with some friends. We had split into two groups, Dan and I being in separate groups, then leaving to do whatever activities we had planned to do.

Our group had gone over to one half of the building while Dan's, the other. A little while through the night, I had to go pee, so I told a friend where I'd be and left.

After I finished my business, I stepped outside the door, hearing loud laughter to the right of me. I turned to see who it was, just curious, and saw that it was Dan having a blast with everyone around with him. 

He looks so happy right now. Why not with me? I was jealous, almost to the point of being furious with him, but I kept myself under control and tried to enjoy myself the rest of the night.

We had made it home, our lazy selves immediately going to our laptops, but I decided to ask Dan about earlier. Nothing too strange or overprotective, just wondering. 

But everything went into one ear and out the other. He wasn't even listening, didn't even act like it! I was angry and tried confronting him with multiple different theories until he became too pissed for his own good and stormed out.

I was left sat alone on our bed, looking up towards the ceiling. Why does he keep acting like this?! I don't understand what I've done. 

I turned over so my face was snuggled into the pillow. It's been ever since I've asked him to stay. Ever since then, his light has gone out, and-

I shot up. I just figured out what the problem was. 

I'm the problem.

~♥~