I want to protect you.

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

Laying quietly next to Lan Zhan as he slept soundly was one of the many things that Wei Ying still had to get used to...he didn't realize how much he needed him beside him until he was forced to do without him and it was terrifying the thoughts that entered his mind when he wasn't being held securely in his arms. But this time he couldn't get used to the fact that he was sleeping so soundly while he was a whole bundle of nerves...he had accomplished a feat that should have been impossible with something so simple that if anyone had told him earlier that it was possible, he would have run them through with a sword.

He found himself sitting up enough to rest his chin against Lan Zhan's chest and absentmindedly began to fiddle with a lock of hair that was resting across his chest marveling at the silky quality as his mind began to wander. He couldn't help but feel like this was all a dream that the resentful energy was letting play out until it became so good that if it ended he would be broken beyond repair and that thought made him shiver and curl up closer to Lan Zhan trying but failing to keep his finger's from gripping at the skin of his waist as he got as close as he could.

In his sleep, Lan Zhan seemed to sense his distress because the next thing Wei Ying knew he had finger's carding through his hair which soothed him in a way he couldn't have explained...well perhaps he could...he had known all along that Lan Zhan was not one to touch lightly...he had often gotten furious at him when he was fifteen when he would touch him without permission or if he had to touch him in some way...he bit back a laugh when he remembered the first time he had been forced into some sort of contact when they had faced the water bourn abyss and he maintained as little as he could while still saving his life.

Now though he seemed to allow all the physical contact Wei Ying craved without complaint and slowly he was beginning to give it without a word or even being asked. Thus each time Lan Zhan gave him some sort of physical contact without him begging for It or forcing it on him was something he couldn't take lightly. This was no different...well, it was quite different because Lan Zhan was asleep his conscious mind was not directing his movements which meant that he truly was warming up to giving Wei Ying what he needed even when he wasn't consciously aware of it. 

"I truly don't deserve this Lan Zhan..." he thought out loud once again resting his chin against Lan Zhan's chest as he gazed up at his sleeping face, "You are Cheng ing and I can't help but feel guilty that you are doing it for me."

He saw Lan Zhan's brow furrow slightly at his words and he reached up and gently brushed his finger's across the furrow trying to smooth it out and he blinked when Lan Zhan leaned into the touch as if chasing the sensation, 'Do you crave physical contact as well?' the thought was fleeting and it instantly had him giving himself a mental slap in the face knowing that such thoughts would infuriate Lan Zhan had he known but the signs were all there...the initiating of physical contact that had been happening more often lately...yes, they initially started off rather tense as if he was battling something... 'More than likely those three thousand rules you have been forced to live by all your life.' His inner voice groused but he couldn't help but listen to that thought...had he been reading it all wrong...had he gotten Lan Zhan wrong in all these years...human being's he knew were tactile creatures and though some could go longer periods of time without some sort of physical contact it was apart of their DNA to crave it.

Thus to him, it was unnatural for anyone to go without some sort of physical contact whether it was a gentle touch of a hand or a hug...it had confused him when Lan Zhan had told him he didn't like to touch others. And perhaps that is what started his what some would say obsession...perhaps at the beginning it was just that...he wanted to know what made him tick...wanted to know how he could make him lose control...how to get his blank face to show emotion.