Difficult Love (Ziall Fanfiction)

Chapter 13

~When you wonder if you seriusly love someone, is when you should be completely sure your feelings toward that person are stopping.~

☆Zayn's Pov☆

We were going outside. While we were walking some fans saw us. They did what we are used to, they asked for an autograph and a photo. One of them though, didn't stop hugging Niall. It made me get a bit jealous, well, not a bit, too fucking jealous that I got near them and hugged Niall, while grinning at the girl, who I think didn't even notice my intentions. They walked away, but the feeling I had inside my stomach never got away from me. Suddenly, I remembered Barbar Palvin, Niall's exgrilfriend. They broke up this year, in February. I had forgotten about her, but now my memories are back once more. Should I ask him why did they break up? She was beautiful and everything, why did he let her go?

-"Ni, you know, this is your typical phrase but I will have to use it. Can I ask you something?"-

He smiled at me. Well, it's true, he usually asks me something, so well, that's his favourite phrase or something I thing.

-"Go ahead brother. Whatever you want to ask me."-

-"Why did you broke up with Barbara? I know you are gay, you told us that, but you really looked like if you like being around with that girl."-

He just stared at me, and then he looked down. Did something happened between them?

-"We never really loved each other you see. She used me for fame, but I used her as well. Modest! made me get a beard. They told me I should not be single for so long, or media would start to create false news. If fans figure out 'am gay, we will lost many of them. And the money that we gain will decrease and for Modest! that is like a blasphemy or something. I don't really care about the money or fame, I only care about doing what I like, but I know this is my job and I have to do it just like 'am told. We lived far away from each other, so I used that as an excuse to break up with her. Media didn't though there was something weird, and I could stop being with her. She acted like Oh my Gosh! 'Am so hot! Look at my boobs and but!"-

I laughed at that, he never does that type of imitations to other people. He really hated her. But anyways, it was a sad story to tell, but he seem to be used to it. He was forced to date a model, so there wouldn't be false rumours about him moving around. I don't understand why the sexuality famous people have is so important. There is nothing interesting on people liking other people, but for paparazzi it is like the elixir of life. The worst part of everything is that every single new of that topic sells a lot, and gets too many views, that is why we are always told to be careful with every move we do.

But I was only thinking about anything. Why did he keep this as a secret? Did someone knew about this? Liam or his mother. Did he had to live acting like if he was happy, but he was in real pain for being someone he isn't, and that he definitely doesn't want to be. I have never gone through that type of situations, or maybe that is what I think. Sometimes I wonder if being with Perrie is a good idea. She is cold and usually acts like a real bich. Well...I never thought I would say that about her, but it is true. I like her family, but sometimes she stresses me quite more than what people may think.

-"I see, but why did you never tell me about all of this? I may have helped you or something. I want to be there to help you when you need me. Next time something like that happens, please don't doubt on calling me."-

He looked down, but then he just nodded. He looks like if he wants to say something else. He looked again at me, but he had a bit of doubt in his eyes about if he should talk or not.

-"I won't hide anything from you anymore, but you have to the same with me. Any problem or bad situation you are going through, you have to tell it to me. In exchange I will do the same. I will do my best to tell you everything. There may be things that I will hide away from you...probably...but I will do my best."-

-"Yeah Ni, I understood you will do your best."-

He smiled shyly. He said there may be things he won't tell me. Things like what?

-"What types of things wouldn't you tell me Ni? I though we had a promise you..."-

 I made a false disappointed tone, but I couldn't hide the grin that formed on my lips. He blushed, but never stopped looking at me. Will he seriously hide something from me or not?

-"Zayn, there is something...I really need and want to ask you. Is it okay if I do it now?"-

-"Come with it bro."-

-"...Are you seriously going to marry...her?"-

Her? He said with an 《I hate her tone》, right? But 'am not sure myself if I want to marry her. I have been feeling weird. Is it a good idea? I seriously don't know what t do. Should I talk with Niall? But that will cause him even more trouble. But he wants me to be open with him in every single aspect. I definitely have to tell him the way I have been feeling.

-"'Am not sure Ni...Many things have happened. I know I have dated her for a long time, but I just...I don't know how to say this. She is so cold sometimes. I don't even know if she really loves me or what. I have been feeling so different toward her. I don't know what I should do."-

He looked at me, but there was something different in his eyes. It looked like happiness, or hope. My heart was moved by that, and I hugged him. I don't even know why did I do that, but I couldn't stop myself from it. He hugged me back. I may stay like this the rest of my life. i feel protected...and loved in his arms. I looked again at his eyes. They were shining, and without me realizing it, I was kissing him.

It was a soft and nice kiss. I didn't remember kisses feeling this good. He started to get separated from me. We didn't stop the eye contact. I just kissed him...and I have the feeling of a zoo inside my belly. He moved away completely of me, and started to walk to the door without saying a word. Did he dislike it? I was going to ask, but at that moment, he turned around again and kissed me once more. We didn't stop looking at each other the whole time. Liam entered, and saw both of us blushing.

-"Guys...time to go on stage..."-

He got away, without waiting for an answer, We went up, but the whole concert we couldn't stop looking at each other.

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