Losing you

Matthew

Matt's P.O.V

"I'll meet you downstairs" said Jack G walking to the elevator of the hotel we were staying on.

"Okay I'll meet you down there" I said acting like I was getting something from my luggage

We were all going to a meet and greet that was starting in an hour. We had to get down there in an hour early because we had to go to a meeting and other stuff. Once Jack left I was alone. All the other guys were already in the main room at the meeting I suppose. But I didn't care about that stupid meeting I went to twitter for a while until I saw this tweet that made me realize something.

Tweet: @Kissxmee : @TheMattEspinosa Howcome you haven't posted a vine or video in months?!?!!?? All you do is say you love us and will post more soon when you know that you just use us for fame and your just a selfish bitch that thinks he all that only cuz he had stupid girls that fangirls over him. Face the truth MATTHEW none of us love you anymore your just a stupid teen who thinks that he has fans because of his work. No you have fans because your "cute" to all the girls out there. Fave the real world Matt

They all hate me because I haven't posted in some time ?¿ it got 500 retweets and 821 favorites

I needed some cheering up so I went into my DM's
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They're all hate...All of them...All of them are hate even from a couple of my "friends" from school.

Tears were already forming in my eyes from everything my fans and friends said to me

From: @abolish_nation
You stupid cunt MATTHEW all you ever wanted us is for fame. You always wanted us for fame I fucking hate you MATT you used ME!!!! Go kill yourself you stupid cunt and stop using people

Wow is this what it really come to? Am I this bad of a person???

I was scrolling on twitter until I came across trending hashtag called #cutfortheoldMatt

What? Cut for the old Matt?? I pressed the tag and it took me to a page where I can see everyone who tweets this Hashtag

It was horrific. It was filled with my fans pictures of them cutting themselves on the wrists with razors saying that they want the old me back. The one who interacted with them and made content for them

I'm making people feel like shit and making them harm themselves that's the last thing I would ever want to do to anyone

I wanted the old me too. I didn't like the new me I wanted the old Matt that everyone loved. I changed too much

I went to my school supply bag because since I had online school I needed to always have notebooks, pencils, pens ect.

I took out a sharpener and took the razor out and went straight to the bathroom.

At this point I was already crying. I locked the door and looked at the the tweets from my fans and my old friends

'Where the fuck is the Matthew who loved us?'

1

'He used is for fame'

2

'Look what he made me do'

3

My phone rang. It was Nash. I didn't know what to do I was scared, alone and empty. I don't answer I hated myself I made my fans do this so I might as well do it too. They hate me, my friends hate me, I hate me.

I cleared my throat and answered the call

Matt:"H-Hello"

Nash:"Hey Matt the meeting already started and---are you okay?"

Matt:"Yea I'm okay"

Nash:"You don't sound okay"

Matt:"But I am soo....what about the meeting?"

Nash:"oh uhh it already ended and I never saw you there and the Meet and Greet starts in 5 min"

Matt:"Okay I'll be there in 2"

Nash:"Kay hurry tho,I'll see you there"

Matt:"Okay see you there"

Nash:"Bye"

Matt:"bye"

I ended the call and got up. I didn't know anything about hiding cuts and stuff so I just washed it with water and wrapped a bandaid around it and put my sweater sleeve down.

I washed my face and went down to the Meet and Greet.

If you don't know me then let me introduce myself to you...Hi I'm Matthew.