Losing you

Chapter 5

Nash's P.O.V

Life has really been a bitch to me. Like literally why are people taking things out on me like wtf?!?!

Okay so look, I'm scrolling thru Twitter right? And then these pictures start popping up of me kissing Carter, Matt, Cam, and Mohagany. Some of these are just stupid fucking edits and I can't post a freaking tweet due to all the replys that just take it too far with the hate

And the fact that because of my stupid actions my "fans" take it out on the other guys. It's fucking annoying.

Whatever I just need to talk to someone. Someone that might understand me, Cam? No he's too much of a happy person I'd hate to pull on his sack and give him something to worry about Mohagony?? No people are going to make assumptions and I don't want anymore of that. How about Matt?? He is really good at understanding people and he sounded like he needed to talk to someone maybe I'll ask him

I walk out the Hotel room and go to the one across where everyone's at. I think they're playing truth or dare I don't know

I walk over to the room and im right they are playing and everyone is there laughing and just having a good time.

They were all sitting on the floor some on the bed playing truth or dare

"Aye bro wanna play??" Said Cameron

"Uh no thanks I'm looking for Matt tho, have you seen him??" I asked

"Uh actually no he hasn't been back yet" he said with a kind of worried expression

"Has anyone went to go look for him??" I said scared for Matt who knows what that kid can be up to

"Yea Shawn got worried and went out to look for him like 15min ago" he said

I wonder if Matts okay he never runs off like that at least not alone

"Aye dude he's going to be okay" said Cameron

"Yea Im sure he'll be fine" I said

They continued playing and I just went back to my room and Just laid down on the bed and just enjoyed the silence for a second and think

Just me and my thoughts.

That's not good.

Matthews P.O.V

I walked off smiling like an idiot. April really does understand me and she's just the most amazingist person in the world!!!

She's sweet, generous, kind, funny, and beautiful. But there's something she's hiding from me and I don't like it.

She's really,really,really skinny. When I hugged her I felt her ribs. And I saw her arm lined up with cuts. fresh ones too but I shouldn't be talking because I saw her looking at mines

But she's seems like a well put together girl that acts happy I know she's not happy you can tell by her dull eyes and she wears a little too much makeup. Don't get me wrong makeup is fine but when it goes to the point where you can see it then that's too much.

I'm just happy that I found someone who accepted me for me. Not the famous Matthew Espinosa but for Virginia Boy Matthew. I don't think she ever heard of me because if she were a fan I would already know it

I was just walking back to the hotel until I was interrupted by my thoughts and bumped into someone

"Sorry" I said and turned to look at the person

"No Problem its oka-Matt??!!" Said Shawn

"Shawn?" I gave him a questioning look

"Matt what are you doing out here??!!!!! I've been looking all over for you!!!" He said attacking me in a hug

"What why were you looking for me??" I asked not being able to hug him back because of how the hugged me

"You didn't respond to me or the guys calls or texts and you don't usually run off like that" He said releasing me from this "hug"

"Sorry I must of gotten carried away" I said looking at the floor

We both were walking towards the hotel in silence until SHAWN spoke up

"Aye you okay tho?" He asked me wile we were walking to the hotel

"Yea I'm fine, why?" I said nervous because if Shawn knows there's something wrong with you he'll try his best to help you and won't stop till your okay and I don't want him to worry about me

"You sound nervous and you never run off like that, what happened?" He asked

"Nothing I just needed some time alone that's all" I said trying to be calm

"Whatever you say man" he said as we entered the lobby with swarms of girls running to us screaming our names which attracts more girls

Aprils P.OV

I ran to my door and shut it and ran to my bed bawling my eyes out

Why?!!!! Why me!!!???? I didn't do shit to deserve this

My dad just finished me off and beat and raped me!!!! I hate my fucking life

I ran to the bathroom and grabbed a blade

"No one wants me to stay" I sobbed as I was putting the blade to my skin I stopped

"Matthew" I whispered

"Matt wouldn't want me doing this" I said

Yes he does he only hung out with you because he felt bad for you

No he didn't

YES HE DID NOBODY EVEN WANTS YOU HERE APRIL

I. I want me here.

I put the blade down and just took a shower instead.

I stripped out of my bra and my long t-shirt and well, that's all since my dad just did me. I walked into the hot shower and just stood there letting the water wash my sweaty body and my tear stained face

It felt nice and it made me think of Matt

I know we'll never be a thing and I don't want us to I just feel happy that there is someone out there that knows my name and most definitely knows me. Well half of me.