Drunk Texting | T. Drake ✔

[13]

***

[ I <•> J ]

I: what are you up to tonight?

J: nothing much.

I: let's hang out.

J: sure.

***

J: can I bring Red Robin along as well?

I: on second thoughts, forget it.

J: hey, what happened?

I: I hadn't known you were on patrol with that red tornado of doom.

J: holy shit, that's like the perfect insult ever!

J: I just showed this to him.

I: and what is his reaction?

J: I don't know, he's the same as ever. An absolute emotionless little bitch.

I: that's mean, Hood, even by your standards.

J: I thought you hated him?

I: yeah but at least don't be so mean to him.

***

J: so what you're trying to say is that tying Red Robin upside down to a building so that he can freeze to death is not mean at all. 

J: but calling him an emotionless little bitch is very very mean?

I: you do have a point.

J: I told you, love, staying with little Timmy is having way too much effect on you. You're turning into a hypocrite. Just like him.

J: and I am minding my language here or else I might have serenaded you with the title I keep specially reserved for him.

I: what title?

J: a two faced bitch.

I: not at all. You're just being over dramatic. And that is clearly your fault.

J: I beg to differ.

I: and I entreat you to shut the fuck up.

J: now that was ruuuuuuuudddddeeeeeee.

I: exactly, just so you know that I am not as polite as Tim is and even spending hours with him won't ever change me.

J: touche.

***

J: so have you by any chance met Timmy's brothers?

I: nope. Not yet.

J: why? They're awesome. Especially Jason.

I: I think so too. All I know is that Richard is a hot cop, Jason is a fashion diva and Damian is a little gremlin who would bite people's toes off.

J: 😂😂😂

J: I'm sure they would love you, except for Damian.

I: of course, everyone loves me, why wouldn't they?

J: if you ever wish to meet Jason though, let me know. I can arrange something for you. He would totally be pleased to meet anyone who has the kind of attitude that you have.

I: sure, but not tonight. Some other time. Maybe tomorrow?

J: sounds good.

***

[ T <•> I ]

I: so that Jason dude isn't dead but you guys have a tombstone for him in the family graveyard? That's literally the coolest real life secret death stuff I have ever come across.