Well, That Was A Thing (Good Omens One-Shots)

8; Up, Down, What Does It Matter?

Context: Post-apocalypse reverse AU. Well, sort of, you'll see what I mean. This will be my first, and probably last, angsty one-shot in this book. Unless I get another idea which I REALLY wanna get behind, so this is your warning.

Word Count: 5,250

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It had been several months since the world didn't end. An angel and a demon had taken to spending more time together because of this. No longer afraid for their safety, they admitted their feelings for one another. It happened on a chilly October day, on the bandstand. Since then, everything seemed rather perfect. In the back of his mind, Crowley knew something had to ruin it, he just didn't see this one coming.

It happened in December. They were in the bedroom of Aziraphale's flat, just above the bookshop, when they were momentarily blinded by a flash of white light. Thankfully, the light took on a human form and they could actually focus on it without being burnt to a crisp. There, standing as a gorgeous 7 foot tall woman with brown skin, long and dark wavy hair, green eyes, and wrapped in a long white robe was The Almighty Herself.

The angel and demon froze. Aziraphale wasn't sure whether to bow down or raise his hands to start exalting Her. Meanwhile, Crowley didn't know whether to grab the angel and run away or get in between Her and Aziraphale.

"You both know why I'm here." She said, Her soothing voice bouncing off the walls.

"You'll destroy us Yourself since none of Your lackies could do the job." Sneered the snake.

Aziraphale glared at him, full of fear. "Crowley..."

She raised a brow as She focused on the demon in front of Her. "Who said anything about destroying? Those trials weren't approved by Me."

"What?" He glared at The Almighty, not believing Her. That was just his nature, of course. This was God, She had no reason to lie.

"Obviously, I had nothing to do with yours, Crowley. That was your lot's business. However, the Archangels were not following orders when they tried to kill you with hellfire, Aziraphale. They were doing as they pleased. They were punished for it... And now, you will be too." She explained.

Once the information clicked in the demon's head, Crowley quickly jumped out of the bed, fueled by anger and adrenaline alone. He stood in between God and Aziraphale, back straight, jaw clenched. His eyes had lost their white scleras, becoming jaundice pools with hair-thin pupils in the middle. No fear from his part, which made the angel behind him even more nervous.

"Leave him out of thissss." He hissed in a venomous tone. It was evident his tongue had forked too.

The Almighty gave him a sympathetic look, reaching for him. "Crowley, you know I can't do that."

He recoiled at the gesture, baring his teeth in response. "You're fucking God. You can do anythhhing. You can leave him be and just punissssh me insssstead."

"Crowley, stop it!" Yelled Aziraphale, still too petrified to move.

But Crowley continued, though, he had managed to get his hiss and tongue under control once more. "We both know he's the best bloody angel you've got! He doesn't deserve punishment, he deserves everything! The fucking world!"

The angel's voice wavered a bit this time. "Crowley!"

"Dammit Aziraphale, you know it's true! You've been treated like shit for millennia! You've only been free a few months and they're already trying to ruin your happiness again! I will not-"