Well, That Was A Thing (Good Omens One-Shots)

22; Nothin' Like A Rum & Coke Headache

Context: Something silly, based on usedtobehmc's "Aziraphale The Priest" AU on Instagram and Twitter.

Crowley doesn't have a demon on one shoulder and an angel on the other, he has two demons. And sometimes, their back and forth drives him a little insane. For this reason, he tends to ignore them, but sometimes he just needs to get involved. If only to shut them up.

In the AU's canon, the little demons are mainly Crowley's emotions. In this, they still are, but they're also a bit more of their own entities.

The following brief and random conversations are all taking place in Crowley's head. Rum's dialogue will be in italics with bold, Coke's will only be in italics and Crowley's won't have any effects. All dialogue will be in quotes, underlines will be used for emphasis.

Word Count: 1,100

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"Did you see the way he smiled at you?! Grab his hand! Come on! It's right there!" Crowley could practically feel him tugging at his ear, trying to get him to look at Father Fell's hand.

They were having lunch and the priest was chattering on about his favorite book. Crowley would much rather listen to that, not Rum's tempting, but poorly timed idea. Even if the blond's hand was right there, only a few centimeters away. No, after the bit at church, Crowley had promised not to do anything like that without permission. He didn't want Aziraphale feeling uncomfortable around him. So, he scolds the demon instead, as the priest begins to recite his favorite lines.

"Will you calm down? He just looked at me. Nothing meant, just a look."

"Are you sure?..."

"Don't you start too, I'm not grabbing his hand!"

And he didn't, much to everyone's dismay.

"You're no fun!" Huffed Rum.

~~~~~

Today Aziraphale had taken up Crowley on that picnic in the park and the little demons were, once again, flooding his mind with plenty of noise.

"Good lord, look at him! How is he so perfect?"

Seeing the holy man in anything casual was a lovely sight.

"He's a literal ray of sunshine." Swooned Coke.

"Wait, what's he doing?"

Coke gasped. "No way."

Rum squeaked. "He's rolling up his sleeves! He is rolling up his sleeves! Holy fuck, holy fuck, holy fuck!"

"And we thought he couldn't get any hotter..." Coke was very much close to fainting.

"Can you two chill?! I'm having enough trouble keeping enough blood above my waist without you two making me think about it!"

"That's a losing battle and all three of us know it, mate."

Coke giggled. "Yeah. Thank Someone you've got that jacket around your waist."

"I hate you two so much." Groaned Crowley.

~~~~~