Well, That Was A Thing (Good Omens One-Shots)

7; The Sea Serpent's Curse

Context: Mermaid AU. Crowley was cursed before being born thanks to his father, Lucifer Morningstar, thinking he could outsmart a witch called Agnes Nutter.

There are seven kingdoms in this AU, each commands a certain amount of the world's oceans. At least, that's how they would describe it, in reality, only six were proper kingdoms. The seventh is referred to as 'The Dead Sea' but it's not the same the 'Dead Sea' the humans know of. The merpeople call a large part of the Pacific (mainly anything that is within The Ring Of Fire) the 'Dead Sea' because many of their kind throughout the centuries have tried and failed to cross it. Those who have, never come out unscathed. Not to mention all the creatures which lurk in its depths and chasms.

Who runs what:

• The Silver Sea is ruled by Gabriel Archangel

• The Onyx Sea is ruled by Lucifer Morningstar

• The Jade Sea is ruled by Raphael Lightbringer (Lucifer's nephew)

• The Amethyst Sea is ruled by Uriel Archangel (Gabriel's sister)

• The Ruby Sea is ruled by Sandalphon Glory (Gabriel's uncle)

• The Sapphire Sea is ruled by Beelzebub Hellionus (née Morningstar, Lucifer's daughter)

They all believe in the same entity (no real Heaven-Hell dynamic in this AU) but use different names because of their locations. Eastern kingdoms, related to Gabriel, refer to The Almighty as 'Poseidon'. While those related to Lucifer, the more western territories, use 'Neptune'. So if you notice that it's sometimes one or the other, know it's on purpose.

Since this is very Disney-inspired, that's how some of the logic will work underwater. Examples: their books and scrolls are made from seaweed/kelp and their ink comes from cephalopods; their light-sources are glow-in-the-dark gems when they're too deep for the sun to reach them; metals are made, or molded from pre-made metals, using the heat from thermal vents by experts in human-knowledge; fabrics are made with organic materials they grow; etc.

Unlike Disney, however, female mermaids don't wear seashell-bras or anything to cover their breasts. It's not really relevant to the plot, it's just how I visualized it and I like the idea of both male and female merfolk being completely bare from the waist-up, giving it a more natural feel, if that makes any sense. So unless they're actively covering themselves with something or wearing armor,their default appearance is topless.

Word Count: 16,000

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The two kings met in secret, in the chasm which served as the borderline between their kingdoms. This was the place where countless soldiers had perished in the war, equal quantities on both sides of the conflict. Not to mention, this was also the place where it all began.

Gabriel glared down from his swordfish chariot, wondering what trick the vile fiend had up his sleeve this time. "Lucifer."

"Gabriel." Replied the other king, just as emotionless.

"To what do I owe this displeasure?" Asked the purple-eyed merman, leaving the safety of his mode of transportation.

Lucifer rolled his eyes as he approached. "Calm down, I'm not here to make trouble."

"For once in your existence." Muttered Gabriel.

The red-tailed, black-finned monarch gave a slight nod with a shrug. "Indeed. I'm just as shocked as you are."