Well, That Was A Thing (Good Omens One-Shots)

6; Fun-Sized

Context: Inspired by peazecatch's smol Aziraphale and smol Crowley comics on Instagram. Size-based scenarios/snippets (not like that, you dirty-minded bastards). They can be whatever size they like in this AU at will, not much thinking or energy required for it. Unlike the artist's canon AU though, they can speak to each other normally no matter their size or what shape they are.

Word Count: 3,100

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"Crowley, dear? Where are you?" Asked Aziraphale, seconds after waking up. It was strange whenever he woke up alone these days, he always expected a certain demon to be clinging onto him and begging him to stay in bed.

The angel sat up, stretching. As his hands came down to sooth his top like always, he felt a lump over the pajama's breast-pocket. His brow furrowed before looking down and pulling it open to see whatever was causing that lump. A tiny black snake shivered as soon as the cold air made its way into the fabric. If he had eyebrows or eyelids, it'd be easy to tell that the itty-bitty reptile was quite miffed.

"There you are, darling!" He gently scooped him out of his pocket and held him in cupped hands.

The snake nuzzled into the angel's palms angrily, then rolled over dramatically onto his back. "Angelllllll..." He whined.

Aziraphale held back a laugh. "Come now, we both know you wouldn't be this cold if you wore warmer pajamas instead of the flimsy silk ones you like so much. Not to mention when you sleep nude. It's still winter, my love. Quite frankly, you're asking for it." Scolded the angel.

Crowley rolled his eyes, which looked particularly amusing in this form and this size.

"Please return to your normal size if you wish to stay in snake form. The last thing I need is to step on you while cleaning up around here. You remember what happened with the vacuum last time."

That final remark earned him a hiss from the demon, who obeyed, even in protest. Aziraphale laughed before leaving the bedroom to go about his day.

~~~~~

"Y'know something angel? I've been wondering..." Started the demon, staring at the wine swirling in his glass.

Aziraphale plucked a small piece of cheese from a grape and cheese platter on the coffee-table and popped it into his mouth. "What, my dear?"

"We can handle our alcohol pretty well. Can control it more than humans, obviously." He added.

"Obviously." Agreed the angel.

Crowley sipped from his drink before continuing. "And with humans, sometimes that comes down to how big their bodies are, correct?"

"Yes, or so I've heard." He said, turning to face Crowley, wondering where this was going.

The demon held up his glass for emphasis. "So, how much more buzzed would we feel if we were the size of a golfball?"

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Heavens, no! That's the point! It's an awful idea, but it could make for a good time. For a bit, anyway. Care to join me?" He asked, eyebrow raised and wineglass tilted his way.

Aziraphale grimaced at the thought before choosing another piece of cheese. "No thank you, darling. One of us should stay lucid during this little experiment of yours. You go ahead and have fun." Insisted the principality.

And fun he did have.

As soon as he shrunk down to the size of a mouse, Crowley's buzz rose. The room was spinning for him but it wasn't nauseating. He actually found it quite entertaining at first. Flying around was especially giggle-inducing, minus the bumping-into-things part.