Crash and Burn

16. Goodbye

Mel and I were standing a little bit behind the group as Demi's close friend and families bid their goodbyes. "You should go say goodbye too you know." I looked over and saw that Maddie was standing beside me. She already had her turn and her eyes were a little bit puffy. "I said my goodbye after you came to talk to me." She smiled and gave my shoulder and squeeze before walking away. I could tell that she wanted to push but chose not to. I wasn't stupid. I knew that anything could happen the moment that bus door closes. Demi could find someone new, or she could be inviting people around to her hotel room whenever she stops. Sure, it did send a pang of pain through my heart but I couldn't bring myself to tell her that I liked her just yet. I was still broken from the one time I felt a great loss, which was why it didn't work out with Jessica. Hell, we didn't work out half the time we were together and we both knew that. We were just stringing each other along.

I got cut out of my thoughts when I heard a familiar voice way too close to me. "Penny for your thoughts?" I lightly jumped when I heard Demi's voice husking in my ear and turned around to face her, feeling the flush coming to my cheeks. "I was just thinking. Nothing much about." I gave her the best smile I could. I was upset and frustrated. I wanted to pull her into my arms and kiss her and tell her that I'll be waiting for her when she gets home but I couldn't. "I came to say goodbye," she opened her arms out to Melissa and boy did she run into her arms. I put my arm out to give Demi some balance as Mel ran into her arms and nearly knocked her over. She shot me a grateful smile over Mel's hair as she whispered comforting words into her ear.

I just rolled my eyes at how Mel was being and stepped close to pry Mel out of Demi's arms. "Jesus, you're crying more than her whole family combined. Stop being dramatic. You'll be stalking her fan accounts every day watching her perform. She'll be back before you know it." Mel shrugged me off and held Demi by arm's length. She gave me a look and jerked her head to the side, ever so kindly asking me to give her some space. I raised my hands in mock surrender and stepped back just the slightest. Far enough to give them the littlest privacy but near enough to hear what Mel has to say to Demi. "I know touring is hard but know that all your Lovatics love you to death. It really sucks that you'll have to go face all the pressure again and I guess I'm just worried now that you're kinda my friend. I'm sorry for being like this." Mel sounded so genuine that it broke my heart to hear her so upset. I saw Demi reach up to wipe the tear that strayed down Mel's face and bring her into another hug. "Thanks, Mel and don't apologize. You're the sweetest." Demi gave Mel a kiss on her forehead and walked over to me. I think Mel fainted.

We stood there for what seemed like minutes but was probably only 30 seconds. "So..." she trailed off and bit her lip nervously. I smiled and opened my arms up, not missing the look of relief on her face. "I'm gonna miss you so much," I heard her mutter into my hair and held her tighter. "Me too, Demi." I pulled back from the hug and held her hands tight. It's now or never. "I know you love going on the road despite the pressure though. You're going to kill it every night, I know it." She smiled wide at me and squeezed my hands. "Thank you for standing up tonight. You did great." I blushed again and dipped my head. I felt her hand cup my chin and lift my head up to face her. "Don't look away," she whispered and started leaning in.

My eyes widened and I turned my face, making her lips land on my cheek. I guess it's never then. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make things weird. I-" she ran her hands through her hair and sighed out exasperatedly. "Demi," I took her hands in mine and waited for her to make eye contact with me. "It's not that I don't feel anything for you. I'm just not ready and I don't know when I'll be. Besides, you're going to get on that bus and I won't see you for a long time. Do you really want us to start like this?" She smiled sadly and me at then nodded. I could feel all the eyes on us now. "At least I wasn't reading things wrong. I got worried that I imagined all the times we flirted during rehearsals." She muttered and gently tugged my hand, pulling us to a darker part of the parking lot.

"I don't want to pressure you but," she paused. This was not going to be good. "I can't wait for you, Al." I sighed and looked as she tried to avoid eye contact with me. "It gets lonely on the road, I understand. Besides, you're meeting people every night. Maybe you'll find someone." I shrugged even though every word that came out my mouth was like a stab to my heart. She frowned at how nonchalant I was being and I could see the disappointment and heartbreak flood her eyes. I could see the tears welling up and before long, they were streaming down her cheeks. "I'll be here when you get back, whether or not you're single. I feel something for you, Demi. I want to start dating you but this is probably the worst timing ever." She lightly chuckled and sadly nodded. "Now it's my turn, Dem. I don't want to pressure you but I'll probably wait for you unconsciously." Her head shot up and she looked at me helplessly. "You can have your fun while you're on tour. I won't hold it against you if you come back with a boyfriend or a girlfriend. If you do, then I'll wait. If you get married, I'll be happy with knowing that I at least had a little bit of your heart once. I just know that I really want to be with you and I'm not ready but when I am, I know I'll be waiting." Her eyebrows raised and her eyes widened, clearly not believing that she'll meet someone she'll marry on tour. I just shrugged, "You never know, Dems." I stepped forward and left a long kiss on her cheek. I gave her a tight hug and couldn't help the deep breath I took when I buried my face into her hair. "I'll miss you and I'll be waiting on your texts every day," I whispered into her ear then felt her nod against my shoulder. "Now go get 'em, superstar." She tried to force a genuine smile on her face through the tears streaming down her cheeks and nodded. Without another word, she wiped the tears from her eyes and walked towards the bus, waving back at us one more time before her door closed behind her.