Crash and Burn

31. Christmas Day

Christmas Day

I didn't know how long had passed since I pulled up in front of Dianna's house and started pacing after I got out of the car. Mel was getting impatient and increasingly cold, but I couldn't bring myself to go up to the door. "Will you stop already? You're making me dizzy." I spun around to face her and ran my hands through my hair. "He's going to be inside. The boyfriend of the woman I'm still so desperately in love with, is going to be inside." My heart pounded against my chest and I was hoping that it'll burst right out. "I shouldn't be here. I'll help you bring the presents inside but I'm going home after that." I give up. There was no way that I could do this. I started walking to the trunk of the car but Mel grabbed me by the shoulders to spin me back around. "Come on, Alex. You promised Demi you'd be here and just think about how sad you'll be making her if you don't show up." I rolled my eyes and shrugged her off. "She has her boyfriend to comfort her."

"Got everything?" Mel hummed in agreement as she concentrated on keeping the heaps of presents in her arms. I gently kicked the door a few times, unable to knock because of how full our hands were. "Merry Christmas girls!" Eddie beamed at us as he stood there proudly in his Santa Claus outfit. "Merry Christmas Eddie. I'm just helping Mel bring in the presents and I'll be on my way." I cut straight to the chase because I didn't want to risk seeing Demi. "Merry Christmas!" That was Dianna. I inwardly grimaced. I wanted to keep the people that I see to the minimum. "Merry Christmas mama D." I smiled at her then hurried towards the tree and practically stuffed everything underneath. Fuck the aesthetics, I just needed to get out of this place.

"Merry Christmas!" I forced a smile and turned around to see Dallas and Maddie coming over to us with outstretched arms. Still no signs of Demi or her boyfriend, which was definitely a good thing. "Merry Christmas guys." I rushed to hug them both first and waited for Mel to hug them. "I'm going to get going." Dallas and Maddie's wide smiles turned into a sad one and their face flashed with sympathy. "We're sorry that you have to go." Maddie nodded in agreement with Dallas's statement and I gave them a small smile. I turned to Mel and nodded in the direction of the door, silently asking her to walk out with me. "I'm going to head off." I announced to Eddie and Dianna and they both came over to give me a hug.

When we got to the car, I fished out the Starbucks gift card from my pocket. "I almost forgot. I would've gotten something better but I only found out yesterday that he was going to be here." I handed the card over to Mel. "Are you sure you want to leave?" I nodded and pulled Mel in for a hug. "I'll be fine but I can't stay here. Have fun, bug. Call me when you need me to pick you up." Mel shot me a sad smile and pulled me into a hug. "I wish you could stay." I sent her an apologetic smile and squeeze her shoulder. "Me too." I opened the door and went to get in but her voice stopped me.

"You're leaving?" Our heads shot over to where Demi was stood adorably in the matching onesie that everyone else inside was wearing. She slammed the door of her boyfriend's G-wagon and stormed over to me. "You promised that you'd be here." Her voice was so small, it almost sounded like I was talking to a kid. "I was here and I never promised that I'd stay." I couldn't help how bitchy I sounded, especially after seeing him get out of his fancy car and eye us. "I should leave you two alone." Mel shuffled away and went back to the house. "What the actual fuck, Alex. Come on. You said we could stay friends and I really want you here." I could see him walking towards us and felt the anger rising in me when he placed his hand on the small of Demi's back. I clenched my fists and took a deep breath. "Everything okay?" Demi turned to him and shot him a small smile. "Yeah, everything's fine. Wait for me by the car, okay?" Her tone was sharp and he instantly backtracked. "You're seriously leaving?" I snapped and the anger poured out of me.

"Yes, Demi. I'm fucking leaving. I'm still in love with you and you're still in love with me, but you're here with him. We should be here together and it fucking kills me that we're not. I thought I could put everything aside and be here for you just to see you happy, but I can't. I can't fucking sit there and pretend to be happy while watching you two play house. I can't sit there and watch you two be a couple and not wish that I was in his place instead. I can't just sit there and not want to pull you into my arms and kiss you to show everyone who you actually belong with. I just can't and I thought you'd be more understanding." The harshness in my voice slowly died down into a defeated tone when I was making that small speech. Tears were rolling down my face now and Demi's face crumpled. She pulled me into her arms, swaying us on the spot and craned her neck up to place a kiss on my cheek. "I know that it's really hard, babe. I couldn't sleep last night because I kept thinking about how hard it'd be to not to be here with you. Trust me, I get it. I understand if you really can't stay, but you're one of the most important people in my life and right now, you're one of my best friends. You're right, I'm still in love with you and that's one of the biggest reasons why I want you here today. Besides, you haven't had a proper Christmas with a family in such a long time and I want you to have that again. I want you to have that with me."