Crash and Burn

26. Living On Prayers

TW: Mentions of drugs, drug use, overdose and violence.

July 24th

"No?" The hurt in her voice was clear. "I can't Demi. Before knowing that you were using, I pushed all the memories and suppressed all the pain and prayed so damn hard that you wouldn't fall back into that. When I found out that you did, I thought we could eventually work things out but knowing that you're involved, so to speak, with BJ? I can't put myself through all of that again. I still love you, but I can't. Not now and I hope you can understand. You're the first person that I've ever told and just having to relive all those memories just makes me more scared than I already was." She nodded glumly then looked me in the eye with determination. "I'll get better, Alex. But for now, I'm going to be selfish and ask you to wait for me."

I shot up gasping for air at the memory that's been playing in my dreams almost every night since that day. 10am. That's a half hour later than yesterday. I trudged downstairs to get started on breakfast when I didn't hear a reply from Mel again and decided to start planning the day ahead. I didn't have to head to Demi's today, but a small part of me wondered if I should anyway. Half true to her word, she has tried getting better. Tried. She wouldn't take too many at a time and wouldn't go over a few times a day, so there were a few hours in the day that she'd be sober. The only downside to everything was that she'd still meet up with her 'friends' and we even had to start coming up with different ways to get her to lay off a little bit. After tossing the breakfast casserole into the oven, I sent Demi a text before heading to the gym house in my backyard to get a workout in while waiting for her reply.

I was broken out of the trance that I was in when my phone started ringing. I frowned when I saw that it was Kelsey. I couldn't get a word in after I picked up and her words only made me sick. "Get to Demi's. She went on a bender last night and she won't pick up my calls. Max and I are on the way but we're stuck in traffic. You're only a few blocks out so you'll get there faster. Bring the Narcan." I sprinted to my car and started the short drive over. A bad feeling was building up in my gut and I pressed harder on the accelerator, praying in my head. Please be okay.

"Demi!" I burst through her front door and kept calling out for her as I ran up the stairs. I flung open her bedroom door and kicked into gear when I saw the state that she was in. I slipped my arms under her neck and knees, gently lifting her to the ground. I placed my fingers on her pulse point and leaned down to hear her breathing. My eyes watered when I realized how weak they both were. I reached into my pocket to pull out the Narcan, giving her the dose before pinching her nose shut and tilting her head back. I blew into her mouth and pulled back, starting the chest compressions while the tears flowed freely down my face.

I don't know how long had passed when I finally heard the footsteps running up the stairs and called out. "Call the paramedics!" Kelsey and Max flew through the doorway and Max was by my side immediately, ready to assist me whenever I needed it. "Oh my God!" I heard Kelsey's gasp but I didn't let anything falter my movements. I wasn't going to trust anyone with her life. I didn't have it in me to get tired and pass over the CPR baton. "Come on baby. Get up." I grunted with effort, my brain refusing to acknowledge that she hasn't responded to anything in God knows how long. "Alex..." Max could see how worked up I was and tried to cut in so that he could take over. He didn't have to, because after leaning down to blow into Demi's mouth again, she sat up gasping for air. I fell back onto my knees and placed my face in my hands. The tension lifted in the room at the temporary relief. We all knew it wasn't over yet.

I took her in my arms and gently stroked her hair back from her face. "Demi. Demi look at me." My voice was urgent and stern. She weakly lifted her gaze to mine and tears welled up in her eyes when she saw me. "What did you take?" She shook her head in response. It looked weak, but I could tell that she did it with effort. "Demi, you have to tell us. We can't wait around for them to find out. They have to give you treatment the second you reach the hospital." The smallest frown formed on her face when I mentioned the hospital. She only let out a small frustrated groan before her eyes fluttered shut. "Demi!" I placed her on the floor again and listened to her breathing while taking her pulse. Her heartbeat and breathing were still weak, but not weak enough that I needed to start CPR again. I let out a loud sob and the sight in front of me, shrugging off the comforting hand that was on my shoulder and got up. I could feel the gazes on me as I walked into the bathroom and avoided eye contact when I came back out with a damp hand towel to clean off the dried blood and vomit from Demi's face. "You're going to be okay. I won't let anything happen to you."