Rage is the Colour Green (Tododeku-Completed)

Meeting a Mother

Izuku was tired.
Yes, he could smile easily, encouraged others. But sometimes it was a little... too much for him. So, here he was on his day off, no training, no schoolwork, no responsibilities. Just him and quiet. A cup of tea worked well too.

It was twilight when he ventured outside on Saturday morning. He had gotten a good rest the night before, four hours of sleep!

He wandered around the dorms, walking out to the cherry blossom trees at the edge of the grounds. He yawned and sat down, the smell of damp earth and freshly cut grass soothing his mind. He soon found himself drifting off, lost in his thoughts.

He would need to be more careful with his rages and nightmares, now that everyone had seen him during one.

His head spun remembering it, Kurogiri's warp wrapping around his body, it's an endless swirling vortex. The flood of thoughts, like the splash of his body hitting the water, his struggle for breath, weakening his bones every second he was under, the bone-deep chill invading his senses. Kacchan's explosions burning in the air, nitroglycerin invading the area, the sweet smell like caramel, burning marshmallows over a fire, a raging bonfire. Always bringing insults. Useless Deku, worthless Deku, stupid Deku. "If you wanna be a hero that badly, there's a quick way to do it. Believe that you'll be born with a quirk in your next life, and take a dive off the roof."

The way everything went quiet sometimes, tuned out, static in his ears. It was like Shinsou's brainwashing only... even scarier. He never knew if he would come back from that state, or if it would become permanent. If he would be an empty shell of what he once was, left to rot, alone in eternity. If his whole being would fall victim to the fear that raced through his body every time he heard the crackle of explosions, every time he felt long, sharp nails drag across his body, everytime a hand wrapped around his neck, one finger lifted but slowly approaching, racking up the terror in his body, wrapping his mind in smoke and fog, suffocating him, killing him, an-

"Hi, Izuku."

A bubbly voice broke the silence surrounding him, the smoke dissipating, a smile replacing the manic smirk, long white hair replacing straggly blue, red eyes turning bright and cheerful, soft as they looked down upon his shaking form.

Yeah, he would really need to hide it better.

"What are you doing out here?" His voice was hoarse, shaky and fearful, tears streaming from his eyes, down his cheeks as he choked out the words.

She didn't ask him any questions about it. She never did.

She knew what it was like.

"Nothing." He shot her a pointed look and she quickly backtracked. "Well, I-I, um, sort of, had a bad dream. But I didn't want to wake dad, he needs more sleep as it is."

Izuku was still unused to Eri calling Aizawa dad, although, even Izuku thought of him as one. Not that he would ever admit that.

"Come here then," he said, smiling at her, hand reaching for hers.
She took it and placed it around her shoulders. She sighed, letting his warmth seep into her. They stayed like that for an unknown amount of time, both basking in the calm and quiet surrounding them. It couldn't last forever, but pain needed few words to be felt and even fewer to be shared.

"Izu-kun, why do you not tell someone?" Eri's voice drifted between them, their own little world around them. It was dawn, a magical time of truth and secrets.

"I don't want to bother anyone," was just on the tip of his tongue but... that wasn't the truth, was it?

"I've only known this. Getting used to a whole new bunch of friends was nice and encouraging, but it's still hard to ignore the past."