Rage is the Colour Green (Tododeku-Completed)

Izuku is trying, truly trying... and crying...

Izuku backed up onto the bed as memories of menacing red eyes flashed in his mind. His breathing picked up, harsh in the silence of the room. Red eyes, hand reaching out, grip on his throat, why, why, why, not again-

"Shit, De-Izuku, calm down it's just me. It's Bakugou, it's Kacchan, calm down please, for fuck's sake."

Gentle hands hovered near him, the red eyes closer now. Izuku blinked past visions of the past, shaking his head slightly to disperse them from his head. Kacchan. It was just Bakugou, it was fine.

Why was Bakugou in his room though?

"W-what are you... you doing here?" Izuku's voice was hoarse from the crying he had done hours before. Was Bakugou the one to lay a blanket over him? How did he even get in? Why was no one else here?

"Auntie had to go to work but she said she would be back in the morning. The shitty fuckers were all really worried about you. I convinced them I would look after you. There's tea there if you want it, I just made a fresh pot before you woke up."

"Thank... you..."

Izuku poured himself some tea, sipping quietly from the cup. He almost startled when Bakugou spoke again from his spot on the bed near Izuku's feet.

"So, what triggered it?"

"Triggered what?" Izuku said, hoping he would just drop it. But this was Bakugou. He wouldn't drop the topic for anything.

"You know exactly what I'm asking shitty nerd. Your panic attack."

Izuku sighed. He hadn't wanted anyone to know. But of course, Bakugou had to poke his nose into Izuku's business. Where he most definitely was not wanted.

"It's none of your concern anywa-"

"Yes it is. I was also worried. You might not believe this but I was. Before you left I was gathering the confidence to say 'I'm sorry' for once in my life, and then you come back from getting fucking ice-cream, bawling your eyes out and I have no idea what happened. I want to know what's happening. I know you may never forgive me, and you would be right not to. I have hurt you so much in the last decade and it's not right. I should have known better, I should have supported you, I should have-"

"You were going to apologize?" Izuku asked hysterically. This was too much. The Bakugou Katsuki was going to apologize for one of the first times in his life. And what, he wanted Izuku's forgiveness?

"For your information, I am fine now."

"Tell that to the tremors running through your hands."

"Stop. Just stop. You do not get to come here pretending to be sorry. You made my life a living hell for years, and only now you accept me. Is it because I have a quirk? Because I'm finally worthy to be considered on your level? I'm only useful once I have powers, isn't that right? Only a human fucking being once I can prove myself worthy and not be a Deku anymore? Are you trying to clear your conscience? Or do you even mean it?" His voice shook, his raw emotions threatening to spill forth from his carefully constructed barriers. He didn't want an apology right now. He wanted actions, not words.

Words would not mend broken bones, the cracked and splintered structure of his tender heart, where his hidden emotions lay. Words would not heal him. This had been a long time coming, and words would not do.

"If you are really sorry, prove it. Find a way, I don't care how. Find a way to show me that you are sorry. Don't give me your promises if you cannot back them up. Isn't that something you said when we were younger?"

Bakugou looked on, his eyes widening as he listened to Izuku and watched him reveal his hurt. He had expected this rejection of his apology, but it still hurt to hear.