Dear self,
I spent so much time looking forward, in my youth. That I can count how often I planted my feet and really embellished on being here now.
Now, middle aged. I spend so much time looking backwards into my relationships of my youth. I frame the sureness of self. The sureness of knowing, blindly.
Two pillars in my rearview mirror. In their root.
a self severed relationship with a childhood friend.
a financially top heavy career that would secure my true work, writing.
[stuck]
Tumbling events occurred during the teens and twenties, but during that age period, you (I) feel (felt) invincible. Your (my) mind is(was) invincible, your (my) body bounces like a plastic ball against a cement wall, relentlessly attacking everything undeterred.
But age hits, and everything slows down. You (I) become (became) smaller, and the wall becomes (became) larger and covered with adhesive and you (I) slide down in defeat (fatigue). My mind drifts into tears and pleasant photographs. memories of resilience.
[stuck]
--cant say it yet..
