I Think He Knows (Finished)

101

DISCLAIMER:

Play the music video above, "High Hopes by Kodaline" for this chapter.

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I Think He Knows

#101

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"Anak," Zooey Evans, Sierra's mother, hugged her the moment their car finally arrived at the grand entrance of the church, "I love you," Her mom whsipered to her softly and she mouthed the same. Her dad, who was also sitting beside her held her hand.

"Anak."

Sierra giggled, "Yes, dad?"

"If you ever want to runaway, just shout my name and I'll drive you with a getaway car."

Natawa naman siya sa suhestiyon, "Dad naman!"

She both hugged her parents again before coming out from the car. Her mother helped her with her long wedding gown and veil. Nang makalabas na silang tatlo sa kotse, she held both her parents' arms. Then they started to walk inside the church. All the guests invited were now looking at her - like everything looked regal.

Her parents walked with her towards the aisle. In the aisle, the smiling priest was already there. She also smiled when she saw Julien, wearing a white suit, looking fondly at her. Pero napakunot-noo naman siya nang hindi niya makita si Orion Lincoln na katabi nito. It wasn't Oli who was standing beside Julien, but Skylar Reese, Oli's younger sister.

Her parents paid respect and greetings to Julien. Si Sierra naman ay hinarap si Skylar.

"Sky?" She mentioned her name, confusingly. Oli was supposed to be her best man.

Skylar smiled at her sadly and then she handed her a scented envelope, "Ate Shie, I'm sorry. Hindi kasi makakapunta si Kuya. He told me he wants to give you this letter instead."

Sierra creased her forehead as she accepted the scented envelope.

"He asked me in his behalf na maging maid of honor ng kasal mo."

"Anak?"

Sierra heard her mother calling her. But she didn't mind it and opened the envelope.

Her heart froze when she saw Oli's handwriting.

Dear Sierra Evans,

I'm sorry that I couldn't attend your wedding. I really want to... because I thought kakayanin kong makita kang makasal sa iba. Pero hindi pala. I'm not as strong as I thought I was. I'm not a hypocrite to force myself to attend, watching you getting married in front of me. I even cried in front of you the last time we saw each other. I cried because my heart could no longer carry the pain that I was feeling. The pain that the woman I love for almost ten years is getting married to another man. 

Yes.

I may have to say this now because it's safe since you're getting married today. I love you, Sierra. Not just because we're friends but because I love you as a woman, a person, or maybe as a lover. I didn't expect I'd fell in love with the woman whom my older brother used to date. Since the first day we started to talk, through messenger, I started to like you. Maybe because you were different, although sometimes, annoying, you know how to make me feel butterflies in my stomach. Remember during the times I told you you're annoying? You're not really annoying. I always find you cute every time you talk about your day, your "chika", palagi kong inaabangan yun. You'll never know but palagi ko ng inaabangan ang mga chat mo sa 'kin araw-araw.

I was trying to control myself for liking you more than just being best friends. You were my brother's ex, not only that, I was sure I'm not your type. I was afraid the moment you'll learn that I like you so much, you'll avoid me or worst, make fun of me. I was thinking not to risk our friendship with my feelings for you. That's what I was holding on all throughout our friendship. Then you started dating Gavin. I was... scared. For the first time, I was scared you'll drift away from me. No, I was scared that if I won't tell you my feelings then the possibiility of you, reciprocating my feelings also would turn to zero. Alam mo, ilang beses ko na sanang gustong sabihin sayo na gusto kita pero mismo ang tadhana na ang gustong humiwalay sa 'tin. Gavin blackmailed me and me, being an idiot, thought of avoiding you will be the best way of protecting you from Gavin. I know I wasn't thinking smart during that time but trust me, all I wanted was to protect you.

Then I thought you and Gavin were getting serious. My heart, longing for you, couldn't bear the pain just thinking about it, tried to convert my feelings to someone else. I started dating Millie because I thought I'll start forgetting my feelings for you if I'll try to date or love someone else.

I tried my best to forget my feelings for you. I tried to love Millie. I tried to love her so hard - but then whom am I lying? I'm just lying to myself for all those years trying to love Millie in which, deep inside, my love for you didn't disappear.

Then when I was about to finally tell you my feelings again, you were dating... Julien now. You know, I know it's selfish of me, but I did once wish that Julien would cheat on you. But then I realized, he's different. He's the best man for you. He's a good guy and I know he's going to take good care of you. He's going to be great husband. Even though it'll pain me seeing you marrying someone else, I rather bear than pain for your happiness.

I'm sorry if it took me ten years to tell you that I love you, Shie. I'm sorry if sometimes I'd screw up our friendship. But I want you to know, I didn't regret knowing you. I didn't regret meeting you at all - because you were the best thing that ever happened to me and I will never trade that for someone else.

I will always love you.

Yours truly,

Orion Lincoln