Rhode Island's Screwed Up Life

Introducing RI's Family

RI: Well, Admin says I have to introduce the family. Even though they're all mean and one has a gun. So here goes...

Providence is my capital. (Her name is Lucy.) She's tall and has really red hair, and freckles. And she is loud and mean, and also has a gun... she keeps threatening Johnston. She and Maine's capital Auggie are together? I guess? Oh, and she is friends with Indianapolis who is scary also.

Newport is weird. He's the oceany one. And all he does is swim with Tampa Bay. They're best friends. And he's never home. His real name is Jack.

Johnston is a butt. He keeps annoying Lucy, therefore most of his time is spent running away from her gun. And her in general. His name is John. Really.

Coventry is tiny and nice. She's sweet and adorable, and she has weirdly pale blond hair. Also she keeps going to the woods or whatever with Charlie. Her name's Alena.

Charleston is cute but mischievous. He always brings home all these frogs 'n crap home... And then keeps them in the room he shares with Coventry. His name's Charlie. Really.

Augustus is Maine's capital... But he's almost family. He's nice and he kind of balances out Lucy's temper.

Well, that's my family. They're .... Fun.