Rhode Island's Screwed Up Life

RI Is Actually Quite Kick-Butt When She Wants To Be

RI: My family is crazy... Lucy is oldest, from when a bunch of peeps decided "screw it" and decided to make a city of religious freedom. But then a bunch more-

Newport: This is my part. My people decided "Well, screw you Lucy" and built their own city! And then there was the time where our colony kept being called a sewer. That sucked.

Lucy: I was much happier before, with the natives. They liked me better. Nobody called me a sewer. But now anyone who messes with me gets shot! *evil laugh*

RI: Then there was the war. I was actually the FIRST STATE TO DECLARE INDEPENDENCE, THANKYOUVERYMUCH. We won.

Lucy: Well, then there was that whole annoying slave thing. But we had a wonderful governor who helped free them! So that was good.

Newport: Then we had the industrial revolution. We made a ton of stuff, and also attracted a lot of Irish immigrants.... I think that's why Lucy has red hair.

Lucy: We had the civil war, in which we were on the right side as usual. We had a crapton of immigrants then, from all over. It was fun, and we had a great economy so it all worked out.

RI: But then we all got the flu... And no Lucy, it is Spanish Influenza. Not Spain Flu.

Lucy: *shrugs* I'm allergic to Spain. And all of the others.

Newport: And then there's now. We have a good economy and crap... And all these tiny cities underfoot. They annoy me. So yeah, we're the kickbutt frigging ocean state. We are in no way small or insignificant, THANKYOUVERYMUCH. *bows*