Sweetest Little Show - Paul McCartney Fanfiction

Chapter 40 - Remember

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"God, how much longer do I have to listen?" Thomas asked, stuffing a pillow into his face as he slumped on his seat.

I was lying down on his bed and looking up at the ceiling as I spilled all my feelings. "Shut up and listen. I don't think Dad would rather hear this, and Mum always gets too excited about this. You're my brother, you get to hear about my love life."

"But I don't want to," Thomas whined.

"Too bad, so sad," I giggled. I then sighed, unable to stop myself from smiling as I thought of Paul.

Thomas turned to look at me, raising an eyebrow as he saw me in a deep trance. "You're really into him, aren't you?"

I shrugged. "I guess so. He really makes me happy, and I don't just mean like normal happy, but this whole new happy that I haven't felt before, but for some reason I don't think Dad likes him. It's making me rethink everything, surely there's a reason, right? It could just be him being protective, but he really doesn't seem to like him. I like him though."

"Do you love him?" Thomas asked.

I quickly sat up and looked at Thomas. "Do I what?"

"Do you love him?" Thomas repeated.

I tried to laugh the thought away. "What? N-No, I've only known him for a week or something, I couldn't love him yet," I said. "But our first date was just amazing, we danced together and we played... wait that can't be right... we... did we play football?"

"Football? You were in a dress," Thomas chuckled, before his eyes widened as he realised what was happening.

"I- no I remember me wearing... wait, I swear we played football," I said, trying to tap into that memory again.

In the corner of my eye, I could see Paul at the door, a surprised look on his face. His lips were parted and his eyes were wide, and his panting made it seem like he ran over when he heard the mention of this memory.

I looked directly at him, hoping he would help me out. "Jackie, we did play football. I-It was early August last year. You told me all about your days as Lady Football and showed me how well you could really play. Then we just lied down on the field and I... I told you that I could really see myself falling in love with you."

It started playing like a movie in my head. The whole day came back to me and I remembered the laughing and the smiling we did and all the fun we had that day. The memory got clearer and clearer to the point where I could remember everything we told each other.

"When you said that to me, I think I told you to take me on a second date and we'll see if I have a response to that, right?" I asked.

"Damn, he's real good with his dates, isn't he?" Thomas snorted. "I'll leave you two alone."

Thomas gave Paul a nod as he left the room. I stood up and walked over to Paul, using my hands to try and flatten out some of his shirt wrinkles. He kissed my forehead, to which I scrunched up my face and wiped my head. He kissed it again, leaving his lips there for a few seconds before we parted.

"Now tell me, darling, what else do you remember?" Paul asked.

"I-I'm not sure. It's all hazy, but there's this dinner night I think. You tried to kiss me and I pulled away, didn't I?" I asked, feeling bad.

"Yeah, you did, but I get why you did, so it's not like it makes me mad or anything," Paul said. "I was a bit of a jerk at the start."

I chuckled. "No you weren't, you were just extremely flirty I guess. I learned to live with it and it's not like you still overdo it. You're a very different guy now, but it makes me feel like I'm not. Maybe I've gone backwards," I said, looking down and fidgeting with his shirt.

He lifted my chin up and pecked my lips. "No darling, don't think like that. It's okay if you have anyway, I was still in love with you during that time anyway."

"In love with me?" I asked, giggling. The thought was so absurd to me. "How could you have possibly been in love with me so quickly?"

"Well I realised that real love doesn't take very long to see. It didn't take long for me to know that I love you. I mean the way you stunned me when I first saw you was special, I hadn't looked at someone like that before," Paul said. He grabbed my hands and kissed my knuckles. "I still feel it when I hold you. I don't know what it is but it's really special."

I shrugged. "I don't know, I feel something different with you, but I'm scared to say it's love. I don't wanna be so quick to judge my feelings," I said, suddenly putting up walls again.

He nodded, looking a bit disappointed like he was expecting me to realise my love for him. I could've declared it in that moment, but I was too afraid. Sure, I knew that at some point I already had declared that, but it didn't mean anything against my original fears and insecurities towards love.

He sighed and held me, wrapping his arms around me and squeezing me tight. "I hope you'll get there one day. You have before, and even though that took a while too, I believe in your memory. One day you'll remember how much you love me, I know it. I feel it, it's there. It has to be," Paul said, his voice almost coming to a whisper at the end like he was losing his words as he got deeper and deeper in thought.

I kissed his cheek and rubbed his back. "I'll try, I promise, I'll try. I want it to come back as much as you do, and you'll be the first to know when I remember what we had. It's okay."

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